Hormonal treatment...and sex... - Cancer: Prostate Message Board

clancy · 07-10-2001, 09:52 AM

I know this is an odd question -- but, since my husband has started on hormonal treatment for his cancer (began as prostate), we no longer have sexual relations.

Oddly enough, it is MY problem not his. He is willing to go through the petting etc. for ME, but I can't seem to accept someone doing that without having any desire for me sexually. I am at a loss as to what is going through his mind.

Does it hurt his feelings/ego when I choose nothing rather than something less than having it all?

ORIS · 07-11-2001, 07:46 AM

Hi Clancy,
My husband was also on hormones for 4 months, it is expected that they will lose sexual desire and potency as testosterone levels decrease, so the fact that your husband is willing to "go through the motions for you" is a testament to the love (not sexual lust) he has for you.
My husband said it was the oddest feeling, he has absolutely no sexual desire.
Since we approached his cancer from a nutritional/detox and cleanse the body/attitudinal healing/vitamins and strengthening the immune system, other than the loss of sexuality, he feels better than he has in 30 years. After 4 months of hormones, he began to exhibit side effects, and I insisted on a PSA test to see where he was. It came back 0.1 We have discontinued the hormones and are continuing with our multidisciplinary approach as research shows the great number of men and women who have cured themselves by addressing the needs of the body*mind*and spirit, even those that have been sent home to die, so it's never to late. He's been off hormones for one month, and is beginning to feel a small amount of sexual desire. He will have monthly PSA checks and DRE every 3 months. Perhaps another biopsy in 6 months.
The most important thing we have learned through this very challenging experience is to live consciously in each moment. No one is guaranteed a specific amount of life. We have taken time to evaluate our lives and make positive changes to maximize whatever amount of time we have left, whether it's one day or 40 years.
There are resources to beat cancer. One of the most important is within us, our willingness, spirit and determination. Best Wishes and prayers for you and your husband.

clancy · 07-11-2001, 11:51 AM

Oris, thank you for your response! Right now his PSA is below 1.0; however, should it change, we will take a new approach.

Yes, I am intimately familiar with how important it is to live life fully. I experienced the loss of my first husband five years ago. It was a LONG illness with many ups and downs. But, we had time to laugh lots, do things we might otherwise not have done, and got closer than we had ever been. So, yes, you are totally on the right page about life!