question re: surgery - Cancer: Prostate Message Board

Michele12 · 08-26-2003, 03:15 PM

My FIL is going for surgery in 2 weeks and my MIL is all freaked out that he is going to die. So she wants all 3 of her grown sons to take off work then take a ferry ride over to her at the hospital to be with her, while her husband (dad of sons) will be getting the surgery. She's all worked up, worried about her sex life now and talks to everyone constantly about the hell she is going to have to go through. He is still in his fiftys, the cancer is a very low level.
So what's the chance he is going to DIE while having the surgery?

Marg

mckeener · 08-28-2003, 07:02 AM

Take a deep breath and relax. the best thing to do for her is let her talk out her thoghts and feelings. My husband has just gotten home from the hospital. He is the young cancer patient that had been on the board the last few months. Leo is 41. there were a lot of questions about the surgery. The most important one was the sex afterwards. That and the blatter control. Both of them are valid concerns however with medicine and practice and a lot of patience BOTH partners can work through that.

The surgery is safe. We had his done in H.Lee Moffett in Tampa Florida. the doctor did four to five nerve sparing surgeries a week.

Like all surgeries there is a slight risk of infecion and pnumonia but the mortality rate is very very low.

Please understand that it is the patient's attitude that makes the most difference. If your mother believes that all of their plans for the future are ruined including their intamacy he will not do well at all.

My bottom line,back to the wall, absolutly would not accept, was I could not lose my partner. Everything else we could deal with.