Another controversial question for those who have had a prostatectomy. Are dry orgasms as pleasurable as the old ejaculating ones? Do you miss the old orgasms? Do they feel different? Your answers might help those contemplating having surgery or trying a different treatment.
having had a TURP procedure prior to my prostate Ca diagnosis, I've already experienced what it's like to have retrograde ejaculations (this is also a dry orgasm where the semen washes back into the bladder, rather than being forced out the the penis). It's a little disconcerting at first, as one misses the feeling of release of ejaculate (and the subsequent messy clean-up).
But as I've "practiced" more and more, I've kinda gotten used to it, and have also experienced that the orgasm sometimes is more prolonged and intense. I'm not too concerned about it anymore.
I know that some men are really bothered by the dry orgasm, maybe it's a kind of feeling of loss of "masculinity" because the "seed" is not released. I think that once one gets over this; it's bothersome. It still FEELS good, my friends!
My Radical Robotic Prostatectomy is scheduled for May 9th, so we'll see what happens after that....
Good luck with dealing with this and all other PCa "issues". We're all brave for sharing our stuff here.
I'm only six weeks post-surgery, but so far, my recently achieved orgasms are VERY different from what they were before surgery. In addition to the absense of ejaculation, the contractions in the "lower chakras" are gone. So far, I mostly feel a general tingling in the rest of my body, but relatively little sensation in the genital area. Also, it takes an enormous amount of stimulation to achieve this new type of orgasm. I hope I will feel more orgasmic and have some level of potency as time goes on.
I knew that the sexual experience would be different following surgery, but I opted for the treatment that could potentially provide better cancer control in the long run. Before surgery, I worried about whether I could handle the mental and emotional impact of the side effects. I met with a counselor before surgery to discuss this. She listened, and she reinforced the notion that I am more than a sexual being, and that intimacy extends way beyond orgasm. So far, following surgery, I am doing OK with the changes in my physiology.
The dry orgasm experience is something I'm not looking forward. I, like Ken in CA, experienced the retrograde ejaculations about every third love making session, when I was taking Flomax and I really didn't like it. The first time it happened, I was freaked! I called the urologist and his nurse expalined that it was essentially "nothing." Sure, that's easy to say. I did some frantic research and discovered that it was harmless and not a detriment to my health. Whew! But, I still hate the feeling.
Now that I'm two weeks post robotic surgery, I'm starting to get the erections again, especially when I wake up in the morning. Ah, yes! The old "**** hard on" is back. Probably a good sign considering I haven't started the nightly 50mg of Viagra as prescribed by the doc, post opp. It has really been in my mind though - what the feeling is going to be like and if it's going to hurt. I've read a few posts here that some guys actually experience spasm-like pain, and a few say the feeling is basically not terribly pleasurable. That does give me pause.
So far, everything in this journey has turned out fine, so I'm praying and thinking nothing but positive thoughts that this next hurdle will go well too. Ken, you really put it well with your comment "We're all brave for sharing our stuff here." How true that is! I know your experience on the 9th will go super-well. The fact that you're sharing and seeking answers to all your questions is a positive affirmation to your determination to beat this sucker, but good. Right on! I did the same thing and found this board to be ultra-beneficial, especially considering how the docs sometimes like to say nothing, change the subject, or answer in overly general terms, which I understand, but....
Put me down as missing the old orgasms a lot! I was expecting a drastic difference after RRP, and that's what I've experienced. Using a VED has been better than zero sex because the intimacy of that closeness cannot be replaced. I believe, however, that having to use those extremely tight bands to maintain the erection is what's causing the burning sensation in my rectal area as I reach orgasm. My uro recently gave me some injection samples, but I read where he's supposed to do an injection in the office to make sure the right dosage is used. He gave me a few samples of 20 mg. and one of 40 mg. Now, there has to be a difference or they wouldn't make two strengths, but I'm left to "give it a shot" on my own. I, too, am very thankful for this board. It finally allows me to gain some long due information that I woould not have otherwise.
Just thinking about injections gives me the chills! I can't imagine having to even experience that. Now, I know I may not be saying this in six months, but I will attempt everything else before I ever go that route. I agree with Specialdee that there has to be a huge, no pun intended, between 20cc & 40cc injections, besides the pain involved. Yeow It just seems to me that having to retire to the bathroom for a quick shot prior to love making must kill a bit of the spontaneity.
I had to get used to dry ejaculations. But now they are a part of life. At least I am able to have them. I had considerable pain while ejaculating the first six monhs after surgury accompanied with tremendous tingling (lke waves) in my upper body.
Although the overall sexual act is completely different than before surgury it's still a wonderful experience. Just remember to keep the lube nearby
I am 6 months past surgery and haven't had much in the way of erections yet. I am capable of orgasm without the erections, though, and I would say they feel very much the same as before. I definitely have experienced the "ejaculation" of urine, and could wish my orgasms were a bit more dry! Maybe, as others have suggested, this will not be a problem when I have an erection. I visited my uro this week and he gave me a trial injection, using .1 cc of trimix. Even in the less-than-ideal environment of the office, the injection produced the best erection I have yet experienced post surgery. It would definitely have been good enough for penetration. It did hurt/sting when the needle went in, and hurt again when the trimix was injected, but the pain didn't last nearly as long as the erection. Next time, I will do the injection myself under his supervision, and if that goes well, will try it at home.
You are indeed a brave soldier. I just can't imagine a needle in that area - the only time was when I had a vasectomy. Leaking urine - there are times I do and times I don't. If I get thoughts or aroused (no erection) I also leak. I usually pee before any type of foreplay and keep a towel handy.
Thanks Ron Z. I have also had a few squirts when we have attempted foreplay. For whatever reason, what little erectile response I have seems to go in reverse when we are attempting any sexual activity. Probably my anxiety over whether anything is going to happen, now made worse by worrying about whether I'm going to leak urine. It is especially odd, since I have never had to use any pads from the day I had my catheter removed. I guess I saved all my leakage for sex. Regarding the injections, I've got to tell you, brother, it was worth the pain to feel that fullness again. I have on several occasions had vivid dreams where I had a good stiff erection, and waking up was a real disappointment. I think the thing about needles is, just like going to the dentist, it's much worse in the anticipation than in the event. Anyway, if it works, I'm willing to try it.
My 'orgasms' have been pretty painful but I've only tried with a flaccid penis so far (7 months since the op). Does anyone who's had this pain know whether it's likely to go with time, also is it likely to ease off when more erect?