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Old 05-04-2007, 03:22 PM   #1
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Albertarose HB User
Hubby has Prostate cancer

Hello everyone,

On April 11/07 my hubby and I found out he has prostate cancer just a week after he turned 50. It's been a trying time for the both of us. He is very emotional about the entire situation. We are both seeking help from our counselors, friends, and family.

I am finding it difficult to express my feeling as a wife to my husband and the support I am receiving is great but I feel I need support from other wives whose husbands have gone through this. I am being as supportive as I can to him but I was wondering how I can be more help to him besides attending appointment, being there for him while he undergoes surgery on May 25th. When he comes home from surgery how can I make him more comfortable while he recovers? What questions should I ask the doctor?

Any help would be great Thank you

Albertarose

 
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:51 PM   #2
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gooby HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

I had my prostate removed last November.

Two things that are very concerning to a man that he will experience are incontinence and impotence.

Something that is very important to me is my wife is understanding and supportive during my recovery of these two side effects. No matter how much a man says it won;t or doesn;t bother them, somewhere in the back of their mind, it does.

Oh, and feel free to ask anything. I, and I'm sure others have no problem telling a man or a woman the problems I am having and how I feel.

No need to be shy about asking for info.

Read through the threads here to get a feel of the side effects the surgery had on us. It will help you to understand how we feel and maybe help you to support your husband.


If it would help, have your husband sign on here and talk with those of us who have already been through surgery. Everybody here is quite helpful and supportive.

If he like face to face, there are groups in many localities he could attend to talk with those involved with this.
__________________
robotic LRP 11-20-06

Last edited by gooby; 05-04-2007 at 08:53 PM.

 
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Old 05-05-2007, 07:22 AM   #3
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*tony* HB User*tony* HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Albertarose View Post
Hello everyone,

On April 11/07 my hubby and I found out he has prostate cancer just a week after he turned 50. It's been a trying time for the both of us. He is very emotional about the entire situation. We are both seeking help from our counselors, friends, and family.

I am finding it difficult to express my feeling as a wife to my husband and the support I am receiving is great but I feel I need support from other wives whose husbands have gone through this. I am being as supportive as I can to him but I was wondering how I can be more help to him besides attending appointment, being there for him while he undergoes surgery on May 25th. When he comes home from surgery how can I make him more comfortable while he recovers? What questions should I ask the doctor?

Any help would be great Thank you

Albertarose
Hi Albertarose;

Here's a "cut & paste" I made up for another lady like you in a similar circumstance. It outlines many of the needs and pitfalls of my hospital experience. Hope it helps...

First of all, your hubby will do fine. My da Vinci surgery was pretty easy all things considered. There were some annoying and uncomfortable times but nothing to write home about. I was told what to expect and what I was told was the exact truth. Nothing was sugar coated!

Here are a few tips regarding my experience on surgery day and my hospital stay…

It was January when I got my surgery done. Cold! I showed up wearing a heavy winter jacket, a flannel shirt, work boots, jeans, underwear and a ball cap! When they took me in to prep me, none of that stuff fit into the little plastic bag they handed me for my personal items.

Tip #1. Have your hubby show up wearing stuff that he can just hand to you while he’s changing into his hospital gown.

Tip #2. My wife packed an overnight bag like I was heading off to compete in the Alaskan Iditarod Great Sled Race. Two pairs of sweat pants (open at the bottom), a heavy sweat shirt, two sets of boxer shorts, two loose fitting tee shirts, two pairs of socks, bedroom slippers, pajamas, a winter coat and a winter hat! Needless to say, I didn’t need all of that! I did not get out of my hospital gown until one hour before I was going home. At that point, I needed just the loose fitting sweat pants (Important: open at the bottom) to allow for the catheter, loose fitting boxers also to allow for the catheter, a loose fitting tee shirt to make room for the stapled incisions and dressings, a loose fitting button up sport shirt that’s easy to slip on and off, socks, bedroom slippers (okay for going home) or maybe penny loafers and a jacket that suits the weather. You’ll be helping dress him because he will still be tender.

Tip #3. While in the hospital they will want him up and walking around ASAP after surgery. When they do that they will disconnect both leg massagers and put on slip resistant booties on his feet. They will disconnect the IV bad and hopefully put another hospital gown on backwards to cover his butt. Then they will hand him his Foley catheter bag to carry and they will escort him around the hallway. There’s no rest in hospitals. They are always at you. Always in your room to empty the Foley bag, change the IV bag, retire the IV alarm, take your temp, take your BP, for me I had regular finger sticks to test for blood sugar because I’m diabetic. Not only for you but most likely there’s a guys in the next bed getting all the same stuff done to him! I couldn’t wait to get home to get some rest! I will say however, the nurses and the staff were very attentive. I did not wait long for anything. If I pushed the button, they came running. Sometimes two of them!

Tip #4. The five top items I found that I absolutely needed during my hospital stay…

1. An electric (rechargeable) razor
2. Deodorant
3. Comb & brush
4. Reading material
5. My regular RX meds (the only meds provided, if needed, were for pain thru the IV)


They gave me a cute little complimentary “wash kit” to wash my face and hands and a tooth brush and tooth paste to brush my teeth and mouthwash but absolutely no taking showers until you get him home!

Tip #5. When I was leaving they gave me a brand new Foley bag (big urine bag) for sleeping and they gave me a smaller leg bag that strapped to me leg. They showed me "in detail" how to use both bags. It'll take some getting use to once he gets settled in at home.

Tip #6. I needed a stool softener for my first few BM’s after I got home. Since the LRP procedure comes very close to the rectum wall and it may still be tender down there. I got “Colace” stool softener, which worked out very well and made it much easier. Some guys like to use fiber therapy mucilloid type softener. That's good too!

Can’t think of anything more right now…

If I do I’ll post it!

God bless and best wishes!

Last edited by *tony*; 05-06-2007 at 06:58 AM.

 
Old 05-05-2007, 07:30 AM   #4
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*tony* HB User*tony* HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

What kind of surgery will he be having (open RP, LRP, robotic LRP)?

Last edited by *tony*; 05-05-2007 at 07:31 AM.

 
Old 05-05-2007, 05:05 PM   #5
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Flyfisher HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Initially, just read about PC, the stats, etc. For example, if you use the Partin table, you can find percentages relative to the PC being confined to the prostate, lymph nodes, etc. Information is very helpful at first since the mother of anxiety is uncertainty about the future!

 
Old 05-07-2007, 01:34 PM   #6
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Ron Z HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Regrets that you join this exclusive club. It was 4 years ago at age 49 - here came the diagnosis with no signs or symptoms at all. Why am I going through this? I am fine.

Four years later - no PSA and I should be happy? Amazinig how such a little gland can cause such destruction. Good luck - it is a road and only those that have been down it know what it is really like.

 
Old 05-09-2007, 02:54 PM   #7
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Albertarose HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Thank you Tony with all your great advise. We (I) will sure put them to use. My husband went for his pre op and was given a pamphlet with loads of info for him.

Albertarose

 
Old 05-09-2007, 02:55 PM   #8
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Albertarose HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by *tony* View Post
What kind of surgery will he be having (open RP, LRP, robotic LRP)?
He is having the Radical Prostatectomy.

 
Old 05-09-2007, 03:12 PM   #9
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GiGiof2 HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Hello Albertrose GiGi here ~~My husband had his surgery April 2nd I am the one Tony posted all the good info for ~~ Also gained some other tip's from reading what some of the other guy's came up with~~ On my end I used a vinyl shower curtain on the bed to protect it ~found it to not as noisy as those water proof pad's very easy and reusable !!!LOL LOL someone had mentioned a waste basket by the side of the bed for the cath once home THAT also was a great tip we used just dropped it in by the side of the bed and no worries there~~~ as for in the shower I just took one of those stick on holder's the one's you use for shampoo bottles etc well when hubby came home we used the bigger cath pretty much so when it came time for the shower I put this in the center of the shower wall and down close to the rim of the tub and we just dropped the bag in there worked like a charm~~~Unlike Tony we lucked out and the weather was warm so I took a backpack and when they gave me his clothes I just put them in there and left them in the car for the next morning they were all clean anyway LOL LOL I tried to keep it easy as possible for the hospital ~~Good luck to you and your hubby GiGi

 
Old 05-09-2007, 03:19 PM   #10
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*tony* HB User*tony* HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Albertarose View Post
He is having the Radical Prostatectomy.
Robotic?


 
Old 05-09-2007, 10:02 PM   #11
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GiGiof2 HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

I was thinking the same thing Tony!!!~~~WHY NOT (robotic)

 
Old 05-10-2007, 08:02 AM   #12
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Albertarose HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGiof2 View Post
I was thinking the same thing Tony!!!~~~WHY NOT (robotic)
Can you explain what robotic is?? Sorry I am not up to date on the medical terms. Thanks

Albertarose

 
Old 05-10-2007, 08:47 AM   #13
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CRS907 HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

there are several surgical techniques a available to remove the prostate gland and surrounding structures and tissues. each has it's advocates. there are at least two more or less traditional approaches, referred to as open surgery. there are at least two laprarscopic aapproaches.

in lap surgery, the surgeons hands don't enter the patient -- the surgeon uses minaturized cameras and surgical tools to work through small holes in the patient's body. further complicting things is the robotically assisted technique, where the surgeon doesn't manipultate the tools directly, but instead manipulates a machine that moves the instruments for him. more complications -- there are at least two manufactures of robots.

each technique has supporters; there is literature or folklore supporting all the methods. the conventional wisdom is to select the doc rather than selecting the procedure and then finding a doc who'll do it. [that's my paraphrase of the conventional wisdom.]

a large group of the tech savvy regulars here are advocates of the da Vinci robotically assisted technique.

you've probably had all this explained to you by docs, or read it. i realize that with the barrage of information coming you way it is hard to assimilate everything.

good luck and keep posting questions, thought, comments and so on.

 
Old 05-10-2007, 12:09 PM   #14
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CRS907 HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

i'm kidding here: try the decaf.

check the context: complication refers to complicating the decision, not medical complications.

and i've wondered about this part: what is your reference for " . . . vast majority . . . are robotically assisted . . " where did you learn this.

i thought my post was dispassionate and generally neutral. i'm also sure each of us thinks his surgeon is the coolest and wisest around. i know i sure do. :-)

 
Old 05-10-2007, 02:56 PM   #15
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Albertarose HB User
Re: Hubby has Prostate cancer

Thanks for the advise GiGiof..... I will certainly put this bit of info to use.

Albertarose

 
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