It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Cancer: Prostate Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-26-2009, 11:36 AM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Marl NH USA
Posts: 122
Kaseyjcf HB User
husband has prostate cancer

Hi, My name is Kasey and I have been maried to my wonderful husband for 36 years. We found out today he has prostate cancer. I am so scared and worried. I talked with the urologist today and she has sent out information in the mail to let us know his options. She said his is not life threatening that we have abour 4 to 5 months to make up our minds what we want to do and he has basically three option, he is 58 years old by the way, watchful waiting, radiation or hormonal therapy or surgery.
We have so many unanswered questions, ie what is the best option, if he has surgery how long will be in the hospital, and how long before he can go back to work. These are not my questions as much as his questions. He is scared and so am I. Please will someone write back thank you

 
Old 01-26-2009, 12:04 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 571
daff HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaseyjcf View Post
Hi, My name is Kasey and I have been maried to my wonderful husband for 36 years. We found out today he has prostate cancer. I am so scared and worried....
You've come to the right place, as many have gone through exactly what
you're facing now. No one wants to get this news, but the facts are that
so much progress has been made in the past few years that the vast majority of all cases have very favorable outcomes. There are many good choices these days, and refinements in treatments can lead to a good outcome. Once you get over the initial shock, it's time to do some
reading and talking with others.

As you'll find out, there is no one best solution. We're often used to hearing what a doctor says and then following those recommendations. It's a rare
doctor that will not have a bias towards his own specialty-- urologists want to use surgery. As far as radiation, there are many forms of that, from seeds (brachytherapy) to several types of external beam radiation. I chose a form of radiation called proton beam therapy. At first it's probably best just to try to understand the range of choices available without trying to figure out what suits you and your husband.

There are some things you've never heard of but will need to acquaint yourselves with. The Gleason score is a grading of the aggressiveness of the cancer. There are two figures that add up to the score-- and the ranking of seriousness is on a 1 to 5 scale. The first number represents the score for the characteristics of the most prevalent cancer cells in the biopsy; the second, the next most prevalent. A common score is 3+3, for a score of 6.

When one has a Gleason score of 3+4 or 4+3, it's more aggressive, but doesn't mean it cannot be treated. (The highest and worst score would be 5+5, and that is rare.) It's not just the Gleason score, but information on staging from the physical exam, the person's age, his PSA-- all these factor into the perceived seriousness. If you post some additional information from the biopsy report, which you want a copy of, you'll get some additional info on this board.

At this time, I'd suggest getting some books on prostate cancer, to learn more about the disease and the alternative treatments available. Most have a certain point of view, so it's good to read more than one. If you read some of the posts on this board for those going through what you are now, you'll get recommendations of some good books. On my list as a general overview is Dr. Patrick Walsh's latest book. There a quite a few internet sites too- and you can get some good ideas of questions to ask.

Good luck as you begin to sort through some of this. Using this board can help a lot.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-26-2009, 02:35 PM   #3
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NJ,USA
Posts: 362
shs50 HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaseyjcf View Post
Hi, My name is Kasey and I have been maried to my wonderful husband for 36 years. We found out today he has prostate cancer. I am so scared and worried. I talked with the urologist today and she has sent out information in the mail to let us know his options. She said his is not life threatening that we have abour 4 to 5 months to make up our minds what we want to do and he has basically three option, he is 58 years old by the way, watchful waiting, radiation or hormonal therapy or surgery.
We have so many unanswered questions, ie what is the best option, if he has surgery how long will be in the hospital, and how long before he can go back to work. These are not my questions as much as his questions. He is scared and so am I. Please will someone write back thank you

 
Old 01-26-2009, 03:12 PM   #4
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NJ,USA
Posts: 362
shs50 HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

Hi Kasey:
Sorry your husband is following in our foot steps, but as Daff said you've definitely come to the right place and you're among instant friends and support systems.
Daff's overview is excellant and hasn't tried to throw too much information at you for starters. We were all overwhelmed ( and in my case scared, angry and feeling lost) when receiving the initial diagnosis.
Your Dr. is right in that Prostate Cancer is slow growing and you do have the luxury of time to learn about your options and carefully and deliberately sort through the information and make an informed decision which is hopefully best suited to your husband's age, health ,clinical condition and views of the risk/benefit tradeoffs of the various treatment options. Heart disease patients don't usually have this opportunity to learn about their options and make an informed decision regarding their treatment, their Specialist and the institution where they'll be treated.
I would recommend you buy the excellant book by Dr Peter Scardino the Chief of Surgery of Memorial Sloan-Ketterring Cancer Center in NY. Its entitled Dr. Scardino's Prostate Book and covers the entire subject in simple to grasp laymen's terms. Dr. Patrick Walsh's book is also excellant but I lean toward Dr. Scardino's as he was my surgeon 8 years ago and I know him and respect him highly.
Once you peruse either of these books you'll have a basis for understanding the biopsy results and the staging and grading of your husband's cancer. My best advice at this point is to take the time to learn as much as you can before reaching any conclusions regarding treatment or who performs it. As Daff said most if not all specialists in the P.C. field have treatment biases, usually based in their own particular specialty of either surgery or a particular type of radiation.
Other factors being equal, the most critical determinant of how successful the treatment outcome will be is the skill, experience and reputation of the specialist you choose and the quality of the center where it is performed.
Please keep us informed about the biopsy report in terms of Gleason Grade, number of positive cores, location and staging as in T2c,etc.
We will attempt to answer your questions, address your concerns and be your and your husband's advocates as the process moves along.
Remember with this disease time is your friend not your enemy.
Bob

 
Old 01-26-2009, 05:31 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Annandale, VA, USA
Posts: 1,730
Blog Entries: 3
IADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB UserIADT3since2000 HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

Hi Kasey,

You have already received some excellent replies, so I'll just add a few comments to what I've excerpted from your first post, below..


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaseyjcf View Post
Hi, My name is Kasey and I have been maried to my wonderful husband for 36 years.

It's always good to see men's wives involved on this board, as prostate cancer is a "couples disease." I'm convinced the burden is a lot lighter and the course a lot smoother when both a husband and wife are involved.

We found out today he has prostate cancer. I am so scared and worried.

What daff and shs50 said: ditto!

I talked with the urologist today and she has sent out information in the mail to let us know his options.

Mailing follow-up information is a great idea as so many of us are too stunned to pick up all the valuable information in our early consultations.

She said his is not life threatening that we have abour 4 to 5 months to make up our minds what we want to do

You haven't given us the basic facts yet, but from what your husband's doctor said, the cancer is very likely "low risk," meaning low risk that a local therapy (versus systemic for spread beyond the prostate) would fail. I'm convinced most of us will have much improved results if we take careful aim before we fire, or, as the carpenters say, "measure twice then cut once." A few months is reasonable; after all, your husband has probably had the cancer for perhaps a decade (so you already know how to live well with cancer, just as you have before). It's just that now you both know he has it.

and he has basically three option, he is 58 years old by the way, watchful waiting, radiation or hormonal therapy or surgery.

That's actually four options, unless she is combining the radiation and hormonal therapy, which is commonly done based on research for higher risk cases, but less commonly for low risk cases.

If she did mention hormonal therapy as a primary and sole therapy option, my hat is off to her! The vast majority of doctors would not do that, and with fairly good reason as the support is still preliminary, though those who follow hormonal therapy closely are enthusiastic with what they are seeing but still somewhat cautious. That includes me, a layman patient but now savvy; intermittent triple hormonal blockade therapy with maintenance has been the only therapy for my challenging case.

The big downside to hormonal therapy is that it is unlikely to be curative, though it now appears quite likely to give very long term excellent control of the cancer, provided mild maintenance drugs are taken, with a side effect profile that many of us consider reasonable and attractive from a broad perspective. It appears that many low risk patients will do very well on hormonal blockade with just one course of full therapy for around a year to a year and a half, after which they can expect to recover virtually fully from side effects. That includes recovery of potency and libido, which are usually substantially to greatly decreased while on therapy, and virtually no concern with incontinence at any time. Now known countermeasures, if used, usually substantially decrease or eliminate most of the side effects, and many of us believe that a supportive program of nutrition, exercise and stress reduction enhances our prospects. Options for the usual local therapies are preserved. I can give you more leads and information if you are interested.

Watchful Waiting, now available in a related but much better version known by a number of names but often as Active Surveillance, is another option that has recently garnered a lot of support from research for appropriately low risk patients. The key concepts are that the current environment of widespread, early screening catches many prostate cancers that are insignificant and will remain so throughout life. However, we still have no sure fire way to separate the wolves from the sheep. Therefore, a disciplined program of actively monitoring the patients is used, with the idea that cancers that are revealed as aggressive will be caught early enough for therapy at that time to be about as good as therapy given shortly after diagnosis. Research from a number of highly respected centers, including a team involving Dr. Scardino whom shs50 mentioned, but also Johns Hopkins, MD Anderson, and the U. of California at San Francisco in the US (plus major international centers), indicates that Active Surveillance is fulfilling the hopes it raised.

A now standard option that your husband's doctor did not mention is cryo surgery, which includes a still investigational sub-option known as focal cryo surgery.



We have so many unanswered questions, ie what is the best option, if he has surgery how long will be in the hospital, and how long before he can go back to work. These are not my questions as much as his questions. He is scared and so am I. Please will someone write back thank you
Daff and shs50 have both recommended books, and here is my favorite: "A Primer on Prostate Cancer - The Empowered Patient's Guide," by Dr. Stephen B. Strum, MD and Donna Pogliano. It is very strong on how to tailor the therapy choice to the patient's medical circumstances rather than just relying on general odds. It has outstanding graphics and color illustrations, a superb index, clear text, and an outstanding set of forms for recording information. It's comprehensive, with an extraordinarily good section on hormonal blockade. It is excellent regarding advanced staging techniques. It is not good for patients who want their doctors to tell them what to do and make all the decisions for them. It is great for those of us who want to interact with our doctors on a partnership basis, with the key decisions made by the patient.

One other important thing: Dr. Charles "Snuffy" Myers, MD, well known for his medical brilliance and talent in communicating with prostate cancer patients, has likened prostate cancer to the canary that dies in the coal mine: a diagnosis of prostate cancer is often a warning that health generally is under challenge, especially cardiovascular health. Checking cardiovascular health, diabetes, vitamin D sufficiency, and bone density, for instance, often pays dividends for prostate cancer patients. Lifestyle adjustments for prostate cancer patients including nutrition, exercise and stress reduction have a lot of research support, though virtually all the research is not yet conclusive. I'm a big believer in that!

You and your husband are going to feel overwhelmed for a while, but you will learn if you keep at it as so many of us have. (I know a lot now, but in 1999 when I was diagnosed I did not know what a DRE was and I thought the maximum PSA was 10.)

Take care and keep your spirits up,

Jim


 
Old 01-27-2009, 09:16 AM   #6
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Wiarton Ontario Can.
Posts: 10
Scub HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

Hi Kasey. I noticed your post and feel I may be in the same situation as your husband. I see a Urologist on Thursday and will find out if my "lump" is cancerous sometime soon. Like you, my wife is very worried. I think, more than I am. I know that if the situation was reversed, I'd feel far worse than I do. It's hard to contemplate your spouse in trouble with little you can do. My wife is very proactive and through her persistence, I have an early appointment that may end my suspense. It makes facing the unknown much easier when you share it with your partner. We have both found this forum a great help over the past few days. Lots of good info, and, as my wife noted, some very polite and thoughtful people. Like you, I'm still pretty nervous and have the odd thought of gloom. I'm sure your concern means a lot to your hubby.

Best Regards, Steve

 
Old 09-20-2009, 07:55 AM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Marl NH USA
Posts: 122
Kaseyjcf HB User
Talking Re: husband has prostate cancer

Hello, It has been a while since we posted but just wanted to let you all now that hubby had his radical on Sept. 9th. There was 20% involvement (I think that is how the doc worded it) but he did not have to touch the nerves at all. The cancer was completely contained in the prostate which we are so grateful for. He was in hospital for 2 days, came home on the third day. He will be getting his cath out on the 24th and we will go from there. We have not yet purchased any kinds of pads or undergarments as we are waiting for the doctors recommendations. Anyway, thank you for all your kind posts and great info. Sometimes at night pre-op I would would sit and read the various posts and it would help put my head back on straight and get my heartrate back down. Bless you all.

 
Old 09-20-2009, 01:25 PM   #8
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 9
Flygeeser HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

I placed a post on this board a few months ago titled "One Mans Story" that addresses some of the issues with RP.(currently on page 8) Here is the part about pads about which I also had questions before my surgery.

"...Post surgery:
Wearing the catheter is the worst part of this entire ordeal. Not that it is painful - just uncomfortable. I had the catheter about 2 1/2 weeks. During this time walking is very important to keep blood flowing. I had to return to the ER once to have the catheter flushed because urine was not flowing.

One of my support group members told me to take incontenance pads with me when they removed the catheter. He was right! Believe me, gravity takes over when the catheter is removed. My urologist told me that there is going to be leakage, but not to get discouraged - it would improve. He also was right.

At first I had no control. If I stood up gravity took over. After about a week I was able to make it to the bathroom before my bladder was completely emptied in the pad. I was using 6 to 8 Depends, regular absorbency pads a day. These pads fit inside jocky shorts. At night I wore Depends super plus absorbency underware changing to a second pair about 2:00AM.

Doing kegel exercises helped. Four months out I was using 1 Poise very light pad a day and maybe another at night - the underware no longer necessary. Now 6 months out I usually don't wear a pad at all. Occasionally if I'm going to be in a situation where a bathroom is not readily available, I'll wear a pad and carry one or 2 extras just in case. For the most part, I'm now padless..."

At this point time is on your side. You should see steady improvement over the next few months. Hang in there. You have plenty of company in this club.

Jim

 
Old 09-21-2009, 05:34 PM   #9
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Greene, Rhode Island
Posts: 80
Red Nighthawk HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

Jim, that was just what I needed to read tonight. Thursday, if everything is good, my cath comes out, so I valued hearing about your experience when you were at my stage of recovery. So to get this straight, you wore pads during the day and switched to super duper absorbancy underpants for night? I think that is what my wife has set me up with. Thanks again.
john

 
Old 09-22-2009, 06:26 AM   #10
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 47
mrmike2009 HB User
Re: husband has prostate cancer

My surgery was on the 14th and my cath was pulled Sunday (20th). I agree with everyone that the cath is one of the worst parts. I took the advice of KCON and went to protective underwear (TEMA Super Plus) for the first few nights and then I am going to switch to a protective guard – actually today. KCON recommended Depends brand, but I am sure there are others.

So far I have been very lucky – and I stress luck. The first couple of hours there was virtually no control but then when I changed the underwear I was able to hold my urine and every hour feel like my bladder was full. I want to stress that everything I read says that I am lucky – and things may change. I was prepared to be on the other end of the scale and take up to a year to get control back. I still leak when I bend over, but doing the exercises helps to be aware when you put pressure on your bladder.

Best of luck to all – and keep posting so we can all share.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My Husband, 43 yrs. old was just dx with prostate ca, gleason score of 6 sbear1102 Cancer: Prostate 70 03-08-2011 08:41 PM
My Husband has Prostate Cancer - now what? Wildewoman Cancer: Prostate 42 10-28-2010 09:00 PM
Husband just diagnosed-t2b-Gleeson 8 BlueHydrangea Cancer: Prostate 26 11-18-2009 06:22 PM
Husband just diagnosed CM63 Cancer: Prostate 20 04-14-2009 09:32 AM
Husband 53, just diagnosed, T2b? jhb123 Cancer: Prostate 10 03-03-2009 01:38 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Casodex
Cialis
Cipro
Flomax
Levaquin
  Levitra
Morphine
Proscar
Tylenol
Viagra




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Tall Allen (174), IADT3since2000 (148), Baptista (97), Gleason9 (28), harpman (27), Johnt1 (22), honda50 (9), tumbleweed (6), flyfisher37 (6), bharlan (5)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:57 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!