Progne

Hi, Judy,
I'm surprised no one else has responded to your question; this is an area that I had questions about too. And I'm sorry that I came in late - Your husband probably has the catheter out by now, and you're already into the recovery phase.
I don't have a lot of expertise here, but I can relate my own experience. I'm 71 years old and otherwise in good health and pretty good condition. I had a DiVinci-assisted radical prostatectomy on April 21. The catheter came out on day 13, and today is day 112 post-catheter. At the end of each day I have weighed my pads and determined the grams of leakage. Here's some real data on incontenence: On the day the catheter came out I leaked 678 g of urine - a considerable amount. Nonetheless basic contenence was there from the beginning, and it improved quickly.
Days 1-10 127.9 g
Days 11-20 56.8 g
Days 21-30 21.8 g
Days 31-40 14.5 g
Days 41-50 18.1 g
Days 51-60 15.0 g
Days 61-70 7.4 g
Days 71-80 6.5 g
Days 81-90 3.2 g
Days 91-100 6.3 g
Days 101-110 3.2 g

When I went to the incontenence section of stores in my area, something I had never paid attention to before, I found that there are dozens of products for women, but exactly two for designed for men. I have used four products since surgery:
1) Certainty Adjustable Underwear - 77 g - unisex
2) Top Care Guards for Men - 26 g
3) Depends Guards for Men - Regular - 23 g
4) a lighter woman's product - 7 g I don't remember the brand.

The adjustable underwear I bought presurgery, not knowing what to expect. I only used them during the catheter phase when I had some unexpected leakage around the catheter at night. It was a surprise, but I found that I could control it - IF I was awake. I never used them after the catheter came out. They were more than I needed. I eventually gave them away to a nursing home.
Post-catheter I have been using the Top Care and Depends products. However, after about a month they were also more than I needed. I tried the women's or unisex product, but it was unsatisfactory: They were narrow where they needed to be wide, didn't fit, came loose, I fell out of them.
This week my leakage is in the 0-15 g range. Most days I wear regular underwear. At this stage most leakage is imperceptible. I still use the Depends if I anticipate more leakage than usual. I'm a field biologist, so I spend a good bit of time walking off trail in waders, stepping up, stepping down, stepping over. I don't like the guards in this situation - they are bulky, hot, and they chafe. I find a little Astroglide helps the chafing. Depends are still too heavy for me: I need something lighter - maybe in the 10 g range. The packaging leads one to believe that there are several grades, but I think "Regular" is the only one Depends makes. I still have a lot to use up, but I would appreciate anyone's advice on lighter weight guards suitable for men.
If your husband's recovery is anything like mine, I would recommend the Depends Male Guards - Regular. They are a little lighter weight that the Top Care but a little more expensive in my area. They come with an individual wrapper which seems unnecessary to me. They fit. They stay in place.
Good Luck with you husband's recovery.
Progne