Hi hotpink3 and welcome to the Board!
I'm sorry your young dad (I'm 68
) has had this blunt introduction to prostate cancer, but, though his case is challenging as Baptista noted, there is a solid basis for optimism.
You asked about sites that would be best for your dad. Baptista made excellent points, and I'm sure you and your dad would gain confidence from reading the book Baptista mentioned. Moreover, your dad is not that far from Dr. Myers, whose practice is within a short car ride from the Charlottesville, Virginia airport.
There are some other experts who dedicate their practices to prostate cancer or have a large proportion of prostate cancer cases, but most of them are on the West Coast. One is the Mark Scholz/Richard Lam practice on the coast near LAX; I'm mentioning that practice as Dr. Scholz is the medical co-author of the recent book (2010) "Invasion of the Prostate Snatchers." Though the book is especially useful for men considering whether to have a biopsy or with low-risk cases, it also has important information for men on androgen deprivation therapy (also known as "hormonal therapy," or "hormonal blockade"). There is a doctor in West Virginia who specializes in prostate cancer, but I don't know much about him.
Ohio has some excellent doctors and facilities, but my hunch is that those doctors would stick closer to the established "standard of care" approaches. That may sound good and wise at first impression, but the problem is that that "standard" can be years or even a decade or more behind what physicians have learned in practices that see a large volume of prostate cancer cases, especially for men with advanced and challenging cases. I'm convinced that I have personally benefitted from approaches used by experts dedicated to prostate cancer. The Cleveland Clinic has a fine reputation. Ohio State has a dynamic cancer research program that likely includes activity in prostate cancer and associated doctors who do both research and clinical practice.
It's good that your dad will be consulting a medical oncologist. I'm convinced that even excellent urologists are in unfamiliar territory when dealing with advanced and challenging cases. I'm guessing that the doctors I follow would want your dad on triple androgen deprivation therapy ((1) LHRH-agonist or antagonist drug like Lupron, Zoladex, etc; (2) an antiandrogen, most likely generic bicalutamide at 150 mg/day, perhaps with a drug like ursodiol to help prevent any rare liver problems; and (3) Avodart (or perhaps one or two finasteride pills) daily) plus a strong bone density drug to protect bone density and act to some extent against the bone mets. Zometa is one powerful drug that has been so used, though it has an infrequent but potentially serious side effect, osteonecrosis of the jaw, plus some other potential side effects (as do all drugs). Transdermal estrogen is another possibility. A short round of chemo, usually well-tolerated for at least the first round, might also be employed. There are also some new drugs that might be helpful at this point.
Diet and other lifestyle tactics appear to be important. They are well described in the book that Baptista mentioned.
The book "A Primer on Prostate Cancer - The Empowered Patient's Guide," second edition, is getting a bit old now, but still has great information. It recommends blood tests for CEA, CGA, NSE and PAP for men with presentations like your dad's, as well as monitoring testosterone and dihydrotestosterone (DHT) in addition to PSA.
Keep your spirits up! Your dad really does have a decent shot at many quality years of life! Tremendous progress is being made in prostate cancer treatment, including treatment for advanced cases. It's not a matter of adding just a few months of life beyond the current standard; many patients do far better.