Originally Posted by Morgan Cochrane
Well i talked to him about it...he said it was just testing for it...he told me he wasnt sure...but i dont think he is being honest with me...:'( the way he cried last night and said that he accepted it..that gives me pause...im so scared :'( i need him to be honest with me...i need to know the truth..i dont like not knowing for sure if im losing him or not...i need to know if im losing him so i can try to save him...and if im not losing him i need to know what i can do to help him and keep him from getting this disease...I can promise you that it would be the death of me and everything that i am if he doesnt make it...i know that sounds dramatic...but you dont know how much i love him....He told me that they did the prostate exam..and they took a blood test and didnt like the count of the white blood cells...but after last night after seeing him cry like that..( i hae never seen him cry like that) and him saying he accepted it...and now he is telling me that he is gonne be fine and that he isnt gonna die.....it doesnt feel right to me...does that sound right to anyone else?
Hi, Did you read my comments...and my suggestions? I thought that your issues have nothing to do with prostate cancer. I felt if this issue gets dropped (your friend saying it is no longer an issue, for example), another would take it place. You seem so troubled, so vulnerable...I was hoping you had a support system other than help from a health board.
This board ...especially for prostate health...is excellent. If the VA mentioned prostate...perhaps it is because he has prostate cancer in his family ...like his father and uncle...and was advised to have PSAs done every two years or every year. The PSA has come under attack from time to time. Recently a task force (chaired by a Baylor professor, a teacher of PEDIATRICS) recommended no PSA be given to any man. Maybe he was being warned to disregard such high level misinformation.
I did not want to upset you with the few facts I have...which suggests he is not being honest with you. I doubted if he had a biopsy. The presence of cancer is determined by a biopsy. A doctor makes a few (usually 10 to 20) probes. This analyzed by a pathologist. The level of a PSA is learned in a blood test. Some doctors don't do it for young men. An irregular finger test (DRE) or family history might result in a PSA test for a man 40 or younger. Some doctors use 2 to become worried...others wait for 4. The rate of increase can be significant ...a 3 doubling in a year is more worrisome than a 3 unchanged from the last test.
So the tests he apparently has mentioned....would not lead to a doctor scaring him and a concerned friend would not be concluding that he probably a life threateing ailments with unknown progrnosis. Could he have had some diagnosis with some serious outlooks...and was not honest with what it was?...or is he not honest about having a serious health problem? If he does not have a serious health issue and is putting you through this stress, you would not get much help in searching on this blog, on the Internet or at the library researching prostate cancer.
So I repeat....count on the VA helping him...with whatever his health issues...and get some support for yourself...if he is not being honest (his having a serious problem, but not being open about it...is better than not having a serious problem...but not much better).
Good luck.... Oh, I don't think he would do it (I think you know why), but you could express your concern...and ask if you could go with him on his next visit with his primary care doctor, nurse case manager or oncologist (I doubt that he has one) ...he could tell the doctor that you are a worrier. The doctor would love to explain things and reassure you.