Quaking in my boots
I am 52 and just had my first colonoscopy.
A large rectal polyp (4cm) was found with cancer cells. It is 5 cm from my anal verge, moderately differentiated and into the intermucoscal (intra?) layer and most certainly deeper. I am waiting to be scheduled for the abdominal/pelvic contrast ct and to be set up with a surgeon. I am healthy, vital, active, feel great and have two absolutely fantastic and senstive daughters (18 and 16) and tender husband. I am using xanax to curb my non stop panic attack. I have found comfort and support by lurking on the board. So thank you all-- I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. With my family history, I truly thought I was on the 100 year plan. How do people function with all this anxiety?
For every twinge of love and pleasure I get a rebound attack of terror and grief and feel myself detaching. It has only been a day since i got the news. If anyone out there is from Rochester, I would love to hear from you as far as local care but I would love to hear from anybody on this forum who cares to respond or for whom this post resonates. Thank you all in advance!