Waiting for results of possible Malignant Melanoma - Cancer: Skin Message Board

netty2606 · 09-12-2007, 04:48 AM

Hi, I've been viewing this board for quite some time. Ladypepper - you're wonderful

My wonderful husband of only 30 has had a mole on his neck which is multicoloured, flat, not itchy, irregular in shape and about 5mm wide. I've been with him for 6 years and he's always had the mole there and as far as I can remember it's always looked the way it does - but I have never paid much attention to it - I feel so stupid now. I have looked back on photo's when he was a kid and the mole has always been there (although it looks normal in those pics).

It falls inlign with a St.Christopher chain he has always worn and I guess I just subconsciously thought it looked a bit different because it was getting irritated by the chain - Although i know changing moles should be checked - because he has so many of them (he probably has 100 on his chest and back alone) and because it's always looked like that to me - It just didn't even cross my mind to get it checked.

It's only because my friend said she covers up all her moles with sun block and that moles are the way in for skin cancer that I thought we'd best get it checked.

He went to the doctors end of July 07 who referred him within 2 weeks to a dermatologist. The derm looked at it and said yes it needs to come out and sent him on an urgent referral to get it removed. About a month after we went to the Dr's he finally had it removed (29th August) - we have had the letter to come in to the hospital to get the results - which is next Thursday 20th Sept.

To be honest I am terrified - we live such a perfect life - we got married just over a year ago, are trying for a baby and have just got our house up and running. My life was perfect - he's such an amazing caring and wonderful man - I couldn't cope without him - Now I feel like my world is crashing down around me.

Every day is a struggle to keep my head above the water and be strong for my dear hubby - but I'm finding it so hard.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for answers - I just need some kind words/experience of others who have been in the same situation. I'm absolutely convinced it's MM - I cannot find anyone on any MM threads who has had a multicoloured flat mole which wasn't MM - What is terrifying is that I don't know how long it's looked like that - could have been 6yrs!! He is in good health, but I know that doesn't count for much. I have also booked for him to get other moles checked and a pink bump he has on his head which hasn't gone away.

Sorry about the long post...can anyone help me?..

aimees71 · 09-12-2007, 09:35 PM

Dear Netty,

I'm really sorry you and your husband are going through this. It is very difficult and anxiety provoking on many levels. I don't really know what to say that would be of comfort...

Waiting is really hard. Keep yourselves busy so as not to dwell. Do what you need to do to get sleep. Getting run down on top of the anxiety is a killer. I did it and it makes everything (especially the fear) 10x worse. Do not let your mind run away. How we think is so very powerful and can help or hinder health. You never know; it could be nothing. Many of my moles that I've been super concerned about, the derm thinks are fine. And my melanoma looked fine but was not. Color is part of the ABCDEs, but it's not everything... so go easy and wait till you visit with the derm.

Finally, take heart that your love is strong, your husband seems to feel fine, and you have a strong relationship with a strong partner. You are in my thoughts, and please keep us updated.

netty2606 · 09-13-2007, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aimees71

Dear Netty,

I'm really sorry you and your husband are going through this. It is very difficult and anxiety provoking on many levels. I don't really know what to say that would be of comfort...

Waiting is really hard. Keep yourselves busy so as not to dwell. Do what you need to do to get sleep. Getting run down on top of the anxiety is a killer. I did it and it makes everything (especially the fear) 10x worse. Do not let your mind run away. How we think is so very powerful and can help or hinder health. You never know; it could be nothing. Many of my moles that I've been super concerned about, the derm thinks are fine. And my melanoma looked fine but was not. Color is part of the ABCDEs, but it's not everything... so go easy and wait till you visit with the derm.

Finally, take heart that your love is strong, your husband seems to feel fine, and you have a strong relationship with a strong partner. You are in my thoughts, and please keep us updated.

Aimee - Thank you for you kind words. I have okay days and I have bad days. I've been trying to finish the decorating in my kitchen and that's helped a bit as it's kept me busy - but I feel I have an unbearable weight on my shoulders which I just cannot shift. Sometimes I cannot help but let my mind run away into the worst case scenarios...I just can't believe how my life has gone from being perfect to being like this...

Most people at work seem to think I'm overeacting...but they don't know about it as much as I do and are ignorant of how bad it can be. My family are being supportive, but I have the feeling they think it's nothing too - Maybe they're just being like that for my sake to help me stay strong.

Your words are of a great comfort aimee - it's just nice to speak to people in the same situation or have been through what I'm going through at the moment. I'm counting down the days to the results appointment - It's just over a week now. I want to get it over and done with but at the same time I'm terrified of what we'll hear. He just doesn't deserve anything but good news.

Thanks again - hope you are okay - I've read your previous posts.

Will make sure I come back and advise of the results...good or bad.
xx

Ladypepper - How are you? Any words of wisdom that will help me get through this week?.... x

mcr285 · 09-13-2007, 02:14 PM

hi netty,
i know the wait is scary, and it can be especially hard when you don't feel like you have the support of your family and friends. my mom and dad went through the same thing the first time my dad had melanoma. nobody really understood why my parents were so worried and scared. please know that you have friends here who do understand and are praying for you and your husband! try to stay positive and please let us know what the doctor says! you're in my prayers.

sheri76 · 09-13-2007, 08:44 PM

I hope everything is OK with your husband. Waiting is the worst part. I had a mole similar to what you were describing and it was melanoma, but it wasn't malignant. I had surgery and it was done. I pray that this is the case for you. You and your husband are in my prayers.