Re: Really needing some advice...
I was diagnosed with stage I melanoma in February 2007, and I understand how scary it can be when you see moles that seem out of the ordinary. To give credit to the first dermatologist you saw, something on your skin doesn't necessarily have be "either or," when it comes to mole/melanoma. There are many types of skin disorders besides skin cancer - it's just that most of us think the worse. When the doctor told you he has a 95% accuracy rate, I doubt he meant he was proud about having let 5% of his patients slip by with cancer. (Although there might have been a small percentage who did)
I am also a very firm believer that if there is something on your skin that you just don't feel "right" about, you should have every right to have it removed. You live in your skin, and really, no one knows it as you do. It is a fact that most skin cancers are initially discovered by the patient, not doctors. This comes from patients simply knowing - and seeing - their skin every day. Good for you that you had the moles removed! Most likely they are nothing to worry about, but at least they are gone.
As to family connections, Howie63 is correct. When it comes to melanoma, the concern is in relation to blood relatives: parents, siblings, children. Extended family members, such as grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins are interesting to take note of, but really bear no concern. The reason? Well, there are two factors that potentially play into melanoma: genetics and environment.
Immediate blood relatives have a relatively clean gene pool. When it comes to extended family, the gene pool has become "cluttered" to the point where too many other factors and variables come into play. Immediate blood relatives also share in the same environment - spending time out of doors engaged in activities, beliefs regarding sunscreen, moving to areas where the sun is more intense. Extended family may have a different lifestye: spending less time out of doors, perhaps using sunscreen, or living in areas where the sun is less intense. BTW, melanoma is not the only cancer that is concerned with only immediate family. Breast cancer is another one, and there are several others. As the gene pool becomes more "cluttered," one's chances of acquiring cancer from genetic sources becomes less and less.
If you've familarized yourself with the A B C D E's of melanoma, this about covers what to look for. However, there are times when melanoma does exactly what melanoma wants to do, and it looks nothing as it is supposed to. I had 3 moles that I swore were potentially melanoma, they fit all the signs of melanoma, insisted on having them removed, and the biopsy came back normal. The melanoma I evenutally was diagnosed with had none of the characteristics of melanoma that I could see, yet...there ya go! I've learned from my experience that, if you don't feel right about something, insist it be removed and biopsied. It's your body, it's your life. I've met far too many people who believed doctors when they said "It's nothing," or ignored their gut instincts, and now they are in their graves. It's worth it to be persistent!