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Old 08-05-2010, 07:32 AM   #1
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What to expect...

Post several months ago that husband has large dark mole on back and I worrying. He refused to see doctor. Now the mole larger, part is black and scaly looking on part of it and other side is pinkish and raised. Mole is raised much higher and larger. There is a smaller flat mole on his shoulder (same side) that is shapped like triangle and looks like tentacles off of it. I am scared. Cried begging him to see doc. He said don't hurt so he won't do anything. What should I expect? Do I express to my 24 year old girls that I am scared their father could be dying - against his wishes? I did not realize he so selfish as to put us through this. Five years ago watch as my father refused treatment for colon cancer and starved himself to death in 4 months. Since he won't see doctor I don't know what to expect or what to do.
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Old 08-06-2010, 07:30 AM   #2
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Re: What to expect...

Quote:
Originally Posted by debdaniel View Post
Post several months ago that husband has large dark mole on back and I worrying. He refused to see doctor. Now the mole larger, part is black and scaly looking on part of it and other side is pinkish and raised. Mole is raised much higher and larger. There is a smaller flat mole on his shoulder (same side) that is shapped like triangle and looks like tentacles off of it. I am scared. Cried begging him to see doc. He said don't hurt so he won't do anything. What should I expect? Do I express to my 24 year old girls that I am scared their father could be dying - against his wishes? I did not realize he so selfish as to put us through this. Five years ago watch as my father refused treatment for colon cancer and starved himself to death in 4 months. Since he won't see doctor I don't know what to expect or what to do.

Hi, wish I had an answer for you but I don't. Just wanted to say that I hope he decides to have it looked at soon. You are doing everything you can by trying to get him to go, the rest is up to him.

Good Luck....

 
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Old 08-16-2010, 04:23 PM   #3
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Re: What to expect...

Quote:
Originally Posted by debdaniel View Post
Post several months ago that husband has large dark mole on back and I worrying. He refused to see doctor. Now the mole larger, part is black and scaly looking on part of it and other side is pinkish and raised. Mole is raised much higher and larger. There is a smaller flat mole on his shoulder (same side) that is shapped like triangle and looks like tentacles off of it. I am scared. Cried begging him to see doc. He said don't hurt so he won't do anything. What should I expect? Do I express to my 24 year old girls that I am scared their father could be dying - against his wishes? I did not realize he so selfish as to put us through this. Five years ago watch as my father refused treatment for colon cancer and starved himself to death in 4 months. Since he won't see doctor I don't know what to expect or what to do.

Wow - I really feel for you. Perhaps if you took a picture of the mole and showed it to him? That might give him some perspective of what is worrying you? Does he go in for a physical annually? If so, when? You might be able to talk to his doctor and have it looked at then.

As a last resort, start bringing home information on life insurance policies and tell him you want to make sure you will be a well-provided widow in the event of his death - you have kids to look out for! Then perhaps take him to various cemetaries to look at plots and possibly ask him what type of funeral he would like? Just let him know that if he cares so little about the potential of leaving you a young widow, you at least want to be prepared.

Good luck!

 
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