Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Feel really silly
I have a small sore on my right ear that has been there since before Christmas. It sort of comes and goes. I say sort of, because it never really heals all the way -- it goes to a red, rough-ish patch where it is barely visible and hurts, but it's not really noticeable. If I bump it while doing my hair or something it'll bleed and open up and start the scabby-icky cycle all over again. So that's that. Finally, in March-ish, I called the derm's office and made an appointment. I know that's a lot of dawdling, but the sore is tiny, and I felt silly. I kept thinking it might have just been a dry patch due to dry heat, you know, winter air, etc.
The derm couldn't get me in until early May, but when May got here, a scheduling conflict led to my having to cancel, and, well, it was in a "healed-over" state, and I decided not to reschedule at that time. Yeah. Probably a bad decision. This sore is really small, and it was easy to dismiss it. It of course came back, but again, easy to dismiss it. I'm only 37, after all. Then, last week, I happened to feel an itch on my neck, and I felt a bulge where I'd never felt a bulge before. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure it's a lymph node. I felt sicker than I've ever felt before. For the past several weeks I've been dragging with fatigue, but I blamed it on perimenopause. My mom and sis had hysterectomies, so I had nothing to compare, and I had just assumed. Now I'm not so sure, and I immediately called my derm. They gave me the next available appointment, which is next week.
Sure enough, my little sore is starting to heal over again, which means I'm not even sure there's going to be much for the derm to see, and I feel stupid going in to a derm to look at a healed-ish spot. I mean, she's going to look at me and ask me why I want her to look at a reddish spot (smaller than a pencil eraser, no joke) and a bulge on my neck, which isn't even her area of expertise. I feel like a total hypochondriac. It doesn't help that about five years ago I had two moles removed that were just basically enormous weirdly shaped moles, nothing wrong with them. I feel so dumb.
I want to cancel again, just to avoid looking like a flake, but I'm genuinely scared. Is this really something to worry about, or am I making a mountain out of a (literal) molehill? Oh, also, there's a pinprick-sized sore on the other ear as well that seems to have also created a weird dimple in it (the ear, not the sore). I don't even know what that's about.
Background: Very fair skinned, blue eyed, naturally dark blonde, grew up in So. Cal. and had heckuva a lot of sunburns as a kid but have been religious about sunscreen since my late teens or so. Have not had more than a couple sunburns since and never tanned a single time in my life.