Hi. My mom is only 54 years old and is dying from throat cancer. I live about 5 hours away and it's very frustrating not being close to her. I try to go home on weekends but it's exhausting. I didn't go this past weekend and I'm feeling very guilty.
She wasn't able to eat so they put a feeding tube into her stomach and then a trach in her throat. She's really hurting now but morphine seems to be helping. Hospice is visiting once a week..which helps but I feel like someone should be there all the time. She's alone alot. The cancer is growing and my father said that he can actually see the growth along her chin/ear line. I'm having a hard time judging how much time she has left. Either the Dr's haven't told her how much time she has or she won't tell me. I want to be there but I'm not sure when to sacrifce things on my end. I don't have anymore leave at work but I want to be there.
She814, I am sorry for what happened to your mother, I really do hope she feels better. My uncle a couple of months ago died of pancreas cancer and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Cancer is a devastating disease that I hope one day they will find out how to cure and find out how its caused.
But I do have one question for you, and I am so worried, for the last couple of weeks I have been feeling a lot of fatique, a feeling of a lump in my throat that just won't go away, I feel like its choking me, nausea and fevers are common. When your mother had the throat cancer, what were some of the symptons that she developed before she was diagnosed with throat cancer. I am 26 and I don't smoke, but I have this feeling that I have throat cancer, I want to visit a doctor to get a checkup but I can't. My parents are in a very serious financial problem and I recently lost my job. I haven't told my parents yet because I don't want to burden them any further. Thanks in advance.
[This message has been edited by Tommy212 (edited 08-22-2001).]
This is going to sound maudlin, but here goes. 2 years ago this November, my mother died of throat and lung cancer. She contracted the throat cancer first, the lung came later. It was behind her heart so surgery was out of the question.
We found out she had cancer in August of 1999. The doctors were very positive that even though her cancer was inoperable, she could have chemo and radiation, and that should lengthen her life. I used to live in the states, but I now live in England. All I could think of was when should I go back, etc. At the end of October, I got a phone call from my brother saying that I should come home. Oddly enough, I'd already had a plane ticket and was flying home the next day because I had a feeling that Mom wouldn't be here much longer. 11 days after I got home I watched her die.
I'm not trying to make you sad, but I guess what I am trying to say is that you sound like you're close with your Mom like I was with mine. I think because of that, you may have a "feeling" when you should go to her. I did, and I'm glad I didn't ignore it. I don't know what I'd have done if I had stayed in England. I was a lot further away than 5 hours and I knew. I think you'll know as well. I think your heart tells you when it's time.
I'm sorry if I've made you sadder. There unfortunately are no easy answers, are there? I just hope that you are able to be with her. I'll be thinking of you, and I hope you come thru this ok. If you need to talk, just email me.