I just started a new job at a hospital. It is a high-stress, demanding position which puts me in contact with rude (sorry) nurses and doctors, and a number of patients every day, obviously. Any normal person would be able to roll with the punches and get over it. I've had four or five "meltdowns" since I started a week ago. Although all of my co-workers are unbelievably caring and supportive, I know that a few of them have been talking about my instability.
In addition to my emotional state, (I'm bipolar too) I find it next to impossible to concentrate, or comprehend ANYTHING
. This is the single worst thing I deal with on a daily basis. I feel as though I can't even THINK
anymore. I can't focus, I don't understand instructions, I get confused over the simplest things, I make a million mistakes a day, and my short-term memory is shot. I am the biggest airhead on staff. I am in another world most of the time.
Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, I know I just started, but I am a sensitive person as it is. I also do not want to bring any sort of personal baggage into my new position, as I tend to unleash and unload, which I KNOW is very unprofessional.
I had my thyroid removed in 2004 due to cancer, and I know for a fact that certainly started me on this path of psychological hell, to put it bluntly.
I don't want to seem like I'm making excuses, or grappling for attention and pity, but at the same time I feel like they need to be made aware of all of my conditions that may affect my job performance.
Please offer suggestions and experiences. I'm really torn up about this. Please help.