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Old 09-09-2009, 08:24 PM   #1
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Thumbs up Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Sorry all for not posting for awhile. The chemo has proven to be as rough as I had heard. First one, they give you pills called Emend, cost $350.00 for 3. After we paid for them they got them for us free. I had a chemo called cisplatin and adriamyacin. Your heart has to be checked out while you are doing the adriamyaacin. They have only checked it once so far in the beginning. I am so weak and can barely eat anything. All food tastes like cardboard and anything sweet tastes like a sugar bowl. I honestly thought the radiation was the worst, now that I have had 3 rounds of chemo I think they are equal in wrecking your body. My sister came from Az. to help me out, in between the throwing up and all the different pills you have totake I don't know what to say. I do know that I will continue to fight as long as I can. I am just so tired though. I know one thing and I don't say it lightly, my faith in God has always been strong, but since I have been sick with this stuff I see things everyday that renew my faith over and over. Strangers I have never met come up to me and tell me their stories and they put me on their prayer lists at their churches. I never ask God where are you because I know he is with me through all the people he sends to talk to me.
I was supposed to have chemo today, but my white blood cells were too low. They just gave me magnesium. I can't keep that in me. I was in the hospital last week and they gave me blood and white blood cells. I need to find something that I can eat to keep me going. Thank you all that have read my blogs. Please please please pick a good dr. santee

 
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:39 AM   #2
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Hi Santee: I will pray for you that you will have the strength to overcome chemo and that you will survive in health and happiness! God Bless.

 
Old 09-10-2009, 02:16 PM   #3
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Santee. I am not very good with the prayers I am afraid and I envy your faith but positive thoughts are with you and I know that with your belief, strength and determination that you are going to get through this. A great many people are holding you.
Celia

 
Old 09-11-2009, 03:48 PM   #4
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Thank you so much for you good wishes, I am so glad that I have so many people pulling for me. They were going to do chemo on me last week, but my white blood count was too low. I was put in hospital 2 weeks ago, blood was at 7 and white count was 4 then. It doesn't seem to have gone up very much. When I went for chemo I took my emend pill for nausea and now I am trying to get a drug store to give me just one. What a hassle, I am so sick all the time from this chemo, they are doing cisplatin and adryiamiacin I think that is what it is. I know that food tastes like cardboard and I haven't eaten enough to keep a butterfly alive. What a rough and tough thing to go through. My sister who was taking me to treatments had to go back to Arizona so now I am depending on my husband who really would rather be jumping from a tall building than being at the drs. office. Thank you so much for thinking of me. It all helps. Carolyn

 
Old 09-11-2009, 03:50 PM   #5
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Thank you so much for your prayers for me. I can use any and all prayers, thoughts and good wishes now. God bless you for thinking of me. Carolyn

 
Old 09-18-2009, 08:47 PM   #6
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

wishes for strength, faith, love. Stage IIB Grade 3, surviving 7 years. Radiation damage, and Chemo brain, but have had the chance to meet some grand babies I wouldn't have. I will keep you in my prayers....they do work.

 
Old 09-20-2009, 02:28 PM   #7
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Thank you so much for any prayers you can send my way. I go tomorrow to see if I can get the next 3 rounds of chemo. It makes me so sick. I have done 38 rounds of radiation and I know there is scar tissue or something in there. I need a pet scan but the insurance company will only let me have a cat scan. We pay enough for insurance and should be allowed to have the best. I hope the new insurance the govt brings out will help more people. We private pay and have paid for years and have to beg for anything that might show something. I am at a point in my life where I will just be happy to collect social security in Jan. Of course if I don't it will be more for other people who need it. I am happy you got t meet your grandchildren, I have met all the grandkids, but was hoping to meet a few great grandchildren. I do believe in prayer, it seems like sometimes that is all I have left. Thank you so much.

 
Old 09-20-2009, 04:11 PM   #8
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Santee you have your determination and the fact that this is not going to get to you..you are getting to the end of the tunnel. I get angry that you have the added stress of battling a health system, should never happen. I keep watching for you and the positives keep winging your way.
Ce

 
Old 09-20-2009, 07:39 PM   #9
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Hello Santee

I am in putting you on my prayer list, Sweetheart. Chemo sure can be a rough road. I also had adryiamiacin in my own protocol and it is a tough, tough agent.

I had seen my own parents through each of their cancer ordeals and something I heard a nurse say to my Pop that helped me through my own treatment was :

"Sometimes we have to make you sicker in order to make you better."

I tried to keep that in my mind as I rode out the treatments. And you know what? It really was true. Chemo made me so sick, so tired, just so everything crummy... but it also made me better.

13 years ago, i nearly lost the will to live. Today? I am happy and enjoying life abundantly each and every day.

Hang in there and know that so many are hanging in there with you.

Peace and hope always
reach

 
Old 09-21-2009, 05:15 AM   #10
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Hi Santee: I am continuing to pray for you and yesterday at church, I included you in the congregations prayers for those who are ill. Please be strong and know that so many people are praying for you.

 
Old 09-21-2009, 04:40 PM   #11
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

cejayb,

All of the support I get on this site is what helps me through this trial in my life. So many kind people have talked to me. I have been to the lowest part in my life these past few months, and the worst part wasn't the radiation like I thought, it wasn't even the chemo, it is the inability to taste food and get it down and keep it down. I struggle everyday now just to eat. It is one heck of a bad diet I can tell you that. I am so grateful to all the advice I have gotten. Today I went to get my next chemo and they said no again. My white blood count is too low yet. It has been a bout 4 weeks now and I am afraid that what they have taken care of will grow back again. Fear is the worst, it is bad late at night when you have time to think. When you fall asleep finally and something wakes you up and you have to turn on the tv to get your mind back. I am so grateful to everyone that has listened to my story and for those who have written to me. It is a tough lonely journey, no matter how many people you have in your family they can't be there everyday. When it gets bad and I really get low, I turn on the computer and there is a message there from someone that doesn't even know me from Jack sprat, but they are willing to give me the umph to go on and I thank everyone for that. They will try the chemo again next week. I found out today that you can private pay for your pet scan and my husband said he would pay 500.00 of it and my kids all said they would chip in and help too. Just made me cry like a baby. Now I don't know if I should wait till after next three chemos or do it now. Thank you cejayb Santee

 
Old 09-21-2009, 04:56 PM   #12
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

reachout,

Thank you for your inspriation. All of the messages I get carry me through. Thank you for putting me on your prayer list, I so appreciate everyone that prays for me. It is strange how many different signs I have had, people that don't know me stop and ask me if I am sick and want to do things for me. A waiter at Bob Evans restauraunt gave us $30.00 worth of food which I couldn't eat and packed every bit of it up so we could take it home. He told us of his own mother and how she had cancer everywhere and he came home to take care of her and quit his other job. A stranger in a parking lot sneezed and I hollered out God Bless you and he backed his car up after saying God Bless you tome and talked to me for 15 min. about his 84 yr. old aunt that had cancer and is still alive today. I know these are messages for me. I get a new one almost everyday from someone or just something I see. In 2006 I was coming home from a picnic at my sisters and I noticed a funny light in the sky, broad daylight. I stopped the car and got out and luckily had my camera set and on the right date, I took pictures of that beautiful wonderful sight over and over. It was the most beautiful cross I had ever seen right over our farm. It had to be 100 ft. tall. Most of the pictures are squirrly because I kept zooming in and out, but most of them turned out great. I want to post it somewhere so everyone can see it, but don't know where. I had a garage sale after that and showed it to everyone that came and the people just couldn't believe it. I told them I think that I am supposed to share it with everyone, but I don't know much about getting pictures on the internet. I am going to print it off and give it to my dr., hopefully it will give him some inspiration too. I have the most wonderful bunch of girls that take care of me at that clinic. We are going to try a private pay on the pet scan next time, everyone in the family said they would chip in. I think you are right you have to get so down that you think you will never make it back up again before you heal.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. They mean so much to me. I have met some wonderful people on here and I think we all have to fight the insurance companies to cover what we need. Santee

 
Old 09-21-2009, 05:43 PM   #13
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Hello Santee

Honey, I read your words about not tasting and Boy! Did that ever bring back memories. After my third chemo treatment, my husband was taking me for a ride near the beach. He said something about the stinky smell of low tide. It was at that moment that I realized I had no sense of smell. WHat a terrible feeling came over me. I sure wasn't happy about being bald, but to lose my sense of smell was just such an insult to me somehow.

We came home from that ride and I was crying. I got a glass of orange juice or something and realized that all my taste was gone, too. I was devastated. I tried all kinds of things and the only flavor I could even get a bit of was straight hot sauce poured dircetly into my mouth. When we can not taste, most food feels disgusting in our mouths.

What I did find, though, was that watermelon was a soothing feel in my mouth. While I couldn't taste it, it was something to curb the need to put something in the mouth. I ate it three times a day! Chuckles. When I took my chemo treatments I had to stay 5 days each time in the hospital. God bless the chef. Each of my meal requests was simply 'Watermelon." He wouild prepare it 3 times a day and every time he would cut it up into different, interesting shapes. Can you imagine a chef busily preparing all those hospital meals and still taking the time to make my watermelon as appealing as possible for me each time? He so touched my heart and I never even had the chance to meet him. It is as you wrote... so many people caring and making a difference in our lives.

The smell and the taste did come back when the chemo was finished. And so did the hair. Smiles. I am bushy-headed and pudgy again! Keep the faith, dear one. Keep the faith.

Peace
reach

 
Old 09-21-2009, 07:10 PM   #14
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Santee. Interesting from reach and this is worth a try. I lost 13k on radiotherapy. Could drink only 50/50 water/cranberry or /applejuice. The hospital cafe did a fresh fruit salad daily...fleshy fruits. melon, mango, kiwifruit, grapes. Could eat this late pm, no taste but the texture great.

 
Old 09-24-2009, 10:22 PM   #15
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Re: Chemo after chemo hope I can make it through this stuff

Hello santee

Just thinking of you. Hoping the day has been tolerable. My thoughts and prayers continue to be of you.

Hugs
reach

 
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