Katyana

Sweetie, I don't know how old you are, and it doesn't matter. Your grandma is lucky to have you as a grand child

Cancer is a terrible thing, and you're right, it's important to know certain things so you understand and can manage things in your own way. My mother died when I was a teenager. I didn't realize she was as sick as she was, and as a consequence I never got to tell her things that I kept meaning to. And I never had my chance to say good-bye to her. The only reason I'm answering this post for you, is so that you don't have that same regret.

Diagnosis of advanced breast cancer means that the cancer cells have metastasized (spread) outside of the breast to other parts of the body (such as lungs, liver, bones, brain) or to the lymph nodes that are not near the breast (such as those above the collarbone). When breast cancer does spread to other parts of the body, it is still called breast cancer. Advanced or metastatic breast cancer is referred to as Stage IV breast cancer.

Every woman is an individual and each situation is unique, treatment options may vary. However, treatment of Stage IV breast cancer generally involves systemic (whole body) treatment such as chemotherapy. Other treatment options may include additional surgery, radiation, hormonal therapy or use of other drugs which may provide symptom relief. Which treatment given to fight the disease depends on the person's physical condition, the progression of the disease, options available to the person and the doctors AND the person's own choice. No doctor can force a patient to receive a treatment she does not wish to have. In the case of your grandma, it sounds like the doctor is giving her hormones in order to slow down the rate of the cancer growth. The known chemotherapy's that we have these days aren't effective against cancer once it's spread to the bone. All the doctors can do is what is called comfort care. Hormones to slow down the growth, perhaps radiation in time if the tumors grow and start to affect the nerves and cause nerve related symptoms (which can happen when the cancer is in the spine) or lots of pain. But that's only to keep the person comfortable and as pain free as possible for as long as possible.

Women have more treatment options if their breast cancer is detected early, and their chances of survival are greater. In your grandma's case, her breast cancer was caught early and she was well beyond what is called the 5 year survival rate, and was considered "cured" and was cancer free for 15 years . The cancer has now returned and is now considered "Advanced".

Although statistics show that, in general, women diagnosed with advanced (Stage IV) breast cancer have a low five-year survival rate, some women with advanced breast cancer live beyond five years and some much longer. New treatment alternatives, which may extend breast cancer survival, are available, and more are being developed and researched every day.

New treatments are being developed every day. The longer a person stays alive, the better their chances of staying alive long-term. Every woman—regardless of the stage of her breast cancer—should remember that she is an individual, NOT a statistic.

It doesn't look good for your grandma, and I suspect she knows this, and I also suspect that she hasn't told anyone for a reason. When she's ready for people to know what the doctor talked to her about, she will tell you all. I imagine that she's in a bit of shock having heard the diagnosis.

In the meantime, just be there for her. Love her. Be natural around her. Don't treat her like she's dying. We all die one day, it's just a matter of when and how. She's still alive, and she loves you all very much. Just love her in return, and tell her that often