Help... - Cancer Message Board

SweetDis · 04-05-2004, 02:58 PM

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here. Recently, someone close to me has been suffering from adenocarcinoma. I was wondering if you could share with me how you deal with such a disaster in your life? What do you think of when you think of cancer? Any thoughts would help me, thank you so much...

renee_ky · 04-05-2004, 03:50 PM

Hi SweetDis- Wow, I am trying to figure out how to anser your questions. I coudl go on and on, but I won't. First I will tell you, my husband was diagnosed with Lung cancer in December, he is 44 years old. The Doctors have said that he only has 6-9 months. I am not sure how to explain my feelings. It is certainly an emoitinal roller coaster. My feelings vary from sadness, anger, fear, lonliness, depression. For me, I deal with this by constantly looking to God for direction, and remembering, my husband needs "all" of me. Therefore, I cannot let my feelings get the best of me, not as long as he needs me. What I feel can not compare with his challenges, his fears, his struggles. So again, I HAVE to be strong for him, and that means also taking proper care of myself.

I am not sure what else to ay right now. If you look on the "cancer-lung" board, you will see more posts my myself, and as well as other people. You will find posts there that will give you additional answers to your questions.

Good luck! I know it is a hard road, but please remember, your loved one needs all of the love and support that they can get right now.

If you need to talk, I am here. I check the board frequently. You will find that there is a great deal of peopel on this board who have compassion and understanding.

Renee

Marimac · 04-06-2004, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SweetDis

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here. Recently, someone close to me has been suffering from adenocarcinoma. I was wondering if you could share with me how you deal with such a disaster in your life? What do you think of when you think of cancer? Any thoughts would help me, thank you so much...

First, you cry. Then ever so often you give yourself a break from it. You talk with other people who have gone through it or is going through it right now. You become gradually more invested in other people than you are invested in your own feelings. Do not deny your feelings, but make them a productive force in your life. Draw, paint, write, sing, play an instrument, do creative things. This sounds stupid at first glance but creative things and beautiful things have always come out of painful experiences. Every morning you wake up and say Thank you to the God of your understanding. At night, you once again say thank you. It is not much but sometimes it is all one can do and it does work. Take care.

ktee_uk · 04-06-2004, 01:27 PM

When my mum was diagnosed with bower cancer i felt sad, guilty, grief but kind of felt in control of my emotions cos she is elderly and i know that she will not liver forever.
Then a bombshell..... 6 weeks later husband diagnosed with exactly the same cancer at the same stage. For a good two weeks I was a mess. Still cannot quite believe just how debilitating it was for me to go from a positive, strong minded working woman to someone who could not stop crying or think of anything else except losing the two most important people in my life.
My work suffered.... in fact it ground to a complete halt. I was honest with my boss and he fully supported me. This was a double wammy for me as I then felt inadequate for not being to cope or work. I was extremely lucky as my company offered me professional counselling straight away which really helped me to come to terms with what was happening.
The one thing I could do well was look after my husband. I was able to take control of organising the routine of doctor visits, hospital visits, working round their surgery and chemo treatments, nursing them back to health. I also found it hard but rewarding to be able to help his family, in particular his parents, come to terms with it too. My trips to the councellor came is useful for them too.

I think I could ramble on all night about this subject. Better give others a chance.

Hope the above helps
Ktee