Well, it's official. The doctors told us yesterday that with Walter's condition as bad as it is, he's lucky if he has six months left.
We have decided to stop the chemotherapy and radiation and enjoy what time we have left together. The trouble is, Walter is severly debilitated by his cancer. Not the treatment, the cancer. The parts of the body it is affecting, the spine and the brain, not to mention the lungs and the liver (primary) leave it so that he can do very little without taxing himself to exhaustion. The other issue is his pain. I am hoping now that hospice is involved we'll be able to control it better or get him on PCA, so far he is rejecting morphine, he wants to be lucid, but most of the time he's in such pain he's not lucid anyway.
This may seem like I'm rambling, maybe I am, I don't know anymore. It seems like I don't know if I'm coming or going. I feel like I'm drifting. I thought with hospice it'd be easier, but it's not. Now I feel like I'm on the sidelines and I'm missing something. Missing out on something that is the most important thing I've ever done in my whole life or will ever do again.
I'm sorry if this made no sense, I just had to vent.
Hi Dana, I'm so sorry to hear about Walter. I know you must be going through a really rough time. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. I may not be able to give advice or anything, but I'll be here if you need someone to talk to. Becky
Make sure you contact the dr and request a consult from hospice you might even call the local hospice center in your town and see what you have to do at this point my thoughts and prayers are with you.
To live my life to its fullest and to put all my trust in God.
I think I posted this somewhere else, but now that your husband has decided to stop chemotherapy, I suggest you try the herbal treatments. After all, they cannot hurt him. My mother was taking Essiac tea when she had liver cancer. It was recommended to us by a friend who had liver cancer as well. In her case, the doctors told her there was nothing they could do because the cancer had spread too much. She decided to try the tea and she is now in remission. My mother took the tea and she returned to a normal color, her urine went back to normal, and she was slowly feeling better. But then she developed tumors in her esophagus and refused tube feeding so she stopped taking the tea, and any foods at all. I dont know if it will help, but I suggest you research it. It might help to alleviate some of his pain and other symptoms! It's a little expensive. (30 dollars a bottle) But it might work! Good luck!
Dana, it is heart wrenching and moving to read about your experiences. I completely agree with kimzi81 that you should try herbal treatments. However, it is incorrect (and dangerous) to claim that herbs “cannot hurt him.” There are many “alternative” treatments out there today that only turn out to be scams which only cheat you financially, or worse, complicate health conditions. Given, your husband’s doctor only gave him six months left, so perhaps it is time to seek other avenues and hopes.
I have personally witnessed many individuals who have recovered from terminal illnesses where their doctors gave them 2 months or 3 months left to live. After taking Chinese herbs, though, their medical tests showed (a few months later) that they had regained health. I’ve been able to see first hand, these so called “miracles” because my mother is a Chinese herbal consultant. The thing is though, these aren’t “miracles.” It’s just putting the right stuff in your body and starting a healing cycle that takes time and dietary discipline. The worst thing about it is that I take my mother’s knowledge for granted. Most people deeply fear getting cancer. But as a child growing up and seeing people regaining their health (from serious illnesses) on a regular basis, I cannot help but have confidence in something that has unwittingly proved itself over and over to me. It’s not to say that I don’t have to be careful about my lifestyle choices, but it certainly gives me peace of mind.
Likewise, it bleeds my soul to hear your story and individuals like you who do not have my luxury of knowing I have something to fall back on. I know things must be incredibly difficult for you now and to see your husband in his state of being must be draining, but life is incredibly precious and there ARE answers out there. Don’t give up. My prayers are with you.
Well, this is awful news, although not really unexpected. I think you've both made the right decision at this point as far as stopping treatment...although I truly wish this wasn't the decision you had to make. But, since treatment is not apparently working, why should Walter have to go through any more of that?
As far as pain control, perhaps the time is approaching for him to be on a morphine pump? From what little I know of the pumps (and it is, unfortunately, very little), some people are actually able to function quite well on them, and do not end up so sedated that they can't communicate. When all else fails for pain, morphine WILL usually do the trick.
One of the women in my cancer support group was using a morphine pump, and was able to go to work a few days a week and come to group. I think that when you're only dosing yourself occasionally during the day, it doesn't sedate you as much as when you're on an IV morphine drip.
My heart goes out to you, Dana, and as always, you, Walter and the children are in my prayers.