aint fair! - Cancer Message Board

lozze · 08-29-2003, 04:04 PM

i am only 15 and now been through 3 close relatives having cancer. my mum and aunt have both got through breast cancer and now my dad has cancer in his pancreas. im struggling to accept whats going on. im not given the full story and keep hearing bits from different people which i later find to be untrue. i just need some words of wisdom to get my throught this hard time. my faith in the chemotherapy is limited although it has worked for my aunt and has got rid of his secondaries and shrunk it a bit im still unsure.
lozze xox

The only name not taken · 09-07-2003, 07:58 PM

Cancers one of those things that every one encounters in their life. you can't avoid it.
All you can really do is learn to live with the fragile mortality of life. This might not be too comforting at the moment, but its true.
As you said, your only 15, thats most likely the reason for you feeling left out. People who care about you will always try to protect you, thats why they only tell you what they think you need to hear. This is no reason to get angry with them, their only doing what they see is best.
As for the treatment of cancer, In the past 7 years I've known 6 people with cancer, of 3 different types. 5 have survived, and 4 of them dont need treatment anymore.

So, if your feeling cut of, left out, or just plan ****. Talk to someone. And if your worried about your father, spend some time with him, ask him what he feels. The best way to come to turms with a problem to see it from a different point of view.

HoosierBj · 09-08-2003, 11:45 AM

You are right, it certainly is not fair. I think you are doing tremendously well under the circumstances. It sounds like you are wanting to understand what is happening on a little more advanced level than the average 15 year old.

Have you read anything about breast or pancreatic cancer on the internet? Some people are better off not reading quite so much while some people really want to know what MIGHT be around the next corner.
Let your Mom know that you are vitally interested in what is happening and that you are educating yourself so that you can understand if she chooses to share more.

No one knows what will happen with cancer. It can surprise you time after time. I do know that when my Dad's battle with colon cancer ended I was ready for it. Not to lose my Dad (love and memories never ever die) but to let him go.

And, MANY times chemo and radiation will do the trick.
Maybe the worst thing is not knowing, and even then, luckily, that comes one day at a time.

You hang in there. You sound like a caring person who wants to face things straight on even when they are scary as hell. You can be very very proud of that.

Let us know how things are going - we're here 24-7 and I stop by this page every few days. We care because we've been where you are - you're NOT alone!

lozze · 09-24-2003, 02:21 PM

hey. hes doin ok. had a scan the other day and it hasnt shrunk but the secondries have gone which is pretty good.he picked me up from school today so we could get some quality time in

he looks great and im really positive now.
bye for now