cancer everywhere - Cancer Message Board

AliR · 07-14-2005, 12:02 PM

I just feel the need to post to vent some of these feelings. It has been a horrible week. My dad found out he has colon cancer, my best friend told me she has advanced lung cancer, my mother-in-law found out she has cervical cancer (diagnosed one day after she was 10 years cancer free from breast cancer) and my other friend's cancer is progressing and with more surgery and chemo she is hoping for one year so she can live in the new house she and her husband are building. What is going on!?!?? I try so hard to be positive and optomistic but it is really hard when so many people are leaning on me. I feel like my life is at a standstill. I feel so horribly sad and depressed. I talk to my hubby but he is just as upset but keeps things more inside. I feel like I want to be in denial but reality is right here. How can I help all these people and not go crazy?

zummy · 07-14-2005, 03:20 PM

I'm really sorry to hear your story. It does look like today alot of people are suffering from this horrible disease. I know you must be an emotional wreck right now. I don't know what to tell you but to pray for all your loved ones and support them as much as you can.

I know that with so many people around you sick it must be hard to give your time to each and everyone, but just listening helps too, even it if its on the phone. They need to hear that they have someone who is there for them. I hope you are able to get through this very difficult time. My heart goes out to you...

BarbieBlueEyes · 07-14-2005, 03:41 PM

I know exactly how you feel. My niece died last month of cancer. Her daughter, just 32 with two small children, is on Chemo for breast cancer and now I hear my brother-in-law, their dad and grandpa, is in the hospital with colon cancer and I have cancer of the larynx. God help us.

Mariposa_meg · 07-14-2005, 03:55 PM

I am writing to send you a smile, a warm hug, and some food for thought.

You cannot help everyone. Life is lived one day at a time, and despite all my appeals, each day still has only 24 hours.

Take comfort in realizing that you care...it's more than many people would do. Feeling helpless, depressed, tired, lost is a very normal reaction to these situations. Your strength under fire gives those around you hope, especially when they suffer. Your smiles and joy and happiness spread to them. And your determination is exactly what they need from you. They will ask nothing more, and it will be more than is expected.

Every day counts. You can hope that your husband will be supportive, but remember that's a lot to ask. Perhaps he tries to take your mind off of what's going on? That's supportive, too.

Don't lose sight of the positives in your own life. Try to take time each day to step back from what's wrong, and find something to believe in.

I cannot tell you why I know this...but this advice comes from the heart.
Meg

ktee_uk · 07-16-2005, 03:22 PM

dear alir

I sympathise with you. During 2003/2004 I had to watch my mum decline in health to colon cancer whilst my husband was recovering from his treatment for colon cancer. It just didnt seem fair that our family should be hit in such a way. Nothing you can do about it happening but you can help. BUT ..... you have to be selective in how you go about helping whome. You cannot spread yourself too thinly. Try and recruit others to take responsibility for care. I had to do this for my mum ..... I would normally have been her primary carer ( not that she was never independant) but when the colon cancer struck the pair of them within 6 weeks I had to delegate and my brother and sister rallied round and helped me. I was primary carer for husband and his parents helped me so I could continue working (kind of).

Anyhow ....... carry on venting ....... bash hell out of the keyboard and keeping posting.

btw....... you are most welcome at the colon cancer board .... there are loads of people who can help with either a shoulder to cry on or practical advise.

regards to all
ktee