I don't know why I felt so much in your post malibu and I sense you have dealt with or are dealing with this issue personal level. As for death it is an enevitability that we establish at birth and though I won't know until I'm there,as I see it the afterlife is a much more peaceful exsistence
As I am recently bombarded with the cliche' because I just turned 30 yo "Your not getting any younger" I reply " But, I know how it is going to end"
For my own curiosity are u a doctor?