Cancer Questions about my Mom - Cancer Message Board

momofaMarine · 08-19-2008, 10:04 AM

My mom is 71 years old. 4 months ago she said she had another bladder infection. No big deal she has had them before and got antibiotics from the Dr. and it cleared up. But this time is different!!!!! The infection will not go away! She has had an infection for 4 months now and its getting worse! The Dr keeps upping the antibiotic dose and giving her shots and pills. It only gets worse! She had a body scan and some other thing done where they ran a dye into her. She just told me last week that they found a spot on her lungs, a spot on her bladder and a spot on her kidney. Then she admitted to me that she has had a cough for some time now. I am freaking out! The Dr said to come back in 3 weeks and they will see how the infection is. Well in the mean time, she is week, once in awhile after she eats the food goes right through her, she sometimes get the sweats, she feels horrible! She sounds horrible! I am afraid that she has cancer and is not telling me everything she knows. I just cant see how a Dr would let her have an infection this long. I want her to get a second opinion. She keeps saying that after she sees the Dr again she might see another Dr. In the mean time she is loaded with infection that she cant get rid of! I am sorry for babbling I am just scared and trying to find some answers! Please help me if you can! Thank you!

Twiddles · 08-19-2008, 04:46 PM

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's troubles. It sounds to me as though she is trying, gently, to tell you something. She may not be able to say the dreaded "C" word yet, perhaps because you are, as you say, "freaking out." She might be afraid to tell you more details because perhaps she doesn't want to upset you or feels that you might panic and not be able to deal with it. You obviously love your mother a great deal. Maybe you need to try to calm yourself down. What your mom needs is for you to be calm, gentle, and a good listener. I may be way off base, but I think if you are panicking then it would make it harder for your Mom to tell you everything. Of course, it also might be that she really doesn't know any more than she's telling you. It's hard to know what to do. Just calm down, be strong, and be as supportive as you can. That's what she needs right now. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers. God Bless you,
Nancy

momofaMarine · 08-19-2008, 05:08 PM

Thank you for your response! My mom does not know that I am freaking out. I have been playing it calmly with her. I am only freaking out to myself and my hubby! My husbands parents both passed away from cancer. So naturally I am talking to him about this quite a bit. This morning I said I just cant figure this out! My hubby said ok they are treating her for infection right? I said yes! He said the antibiotics are not working right? I said yes! He said now why do you think that is? I said because its not infection? He said exactly. He was not trying to scare me but we both agree that this whole situation makes no sense at all. My mom is the type that would keep this to herself until she absolutely has to tell us something. My husband just says to treat her as if nothing is wrong and when she is ready she will talk. Has anyone ever had symptoms like this before and it turned out to be cancer? The infection thing really bothers me. I dont understand why 4 months of high doses of antibiotics are not working. Could it be something else?