Marie55

Yes, taking care of a grandparent can be very taxing, but, if you think poitive and think about how you would want to be treated when you are old and alone it will make it easier.

Old people are removed from their own home, having to adjust to someone else's home and losing their independence. Think about it, it is heart breaking! Most old people do not have their friends anymore, really alone except for the family they live with. In other words they have nothing to keep them entertained other than checking on other family members, etc., they long to belong in the middle of what is going on in the family, just like little kids whose older siblings did not want them because they were too little, do you remember days like that?!! They so much want to be included and feel a part of the family, but most families live a fast paced frantic life and do not have time to really devote to the elderly. Meeting their physical needs is not enough, they need to be nourished otherwise too.

Many times when the elderly can be engaged in some games, such as cards with someone or solitare it will fill their time. Finding an elderly person to be a friend and visit off and on would give them someone to be their own friend and enjoy. In other words your grandmother needs a life of her own outside of your immediate family.

Some cities have a senior citizen place for elderly people to stay during the day off and on while parents work. This might be a good way to get your grandmother out and about with others her age and more time for you to be alone without caring for her.

If it is any consolation to you, here is what I experienced while visiting my parents. At night my mother would walk down the hall, stand in doorway looking at me in bed to be sure I was in bed, then, mosey back down hall and back to bed, only to repeat in a little while off and own all during the night. She also followed behind me all the time while I was cleaning house, cooking or whatever, to be sure she knew what I was doing. I could always feel her eyes on me all the time, in other words it was like she did not trust me. I finally cleaned door facings in the dark so she did not know I was doing it. If she saw me cleaning door facings she would ask "are they too nasty for you?", well yes, but I could not tell her that! This was her way of saying leave my house alone, it is mine, and it is just fine the way it is.

Your grandmother is a very lonely person right now along with being too old to care for herself. You are also young and need your space, but, you are needed to help out since your parents work. Try becoming a special friend to your grandmother and most likely she will be easier to care for. No doubt you are the light of her life these days. Do little things for her with a great big smile and it will be easier to do and very rewarding for you and your grandmother. Needless to say, having a positive attitude inspite of the situation will make it easier and less bothersome.

Just remember, we too will be old one of these days and will want someone to be kind to us and help us when we can no longer take care of ourselves.

You did not mention how old your grandmother is or what her health status is. This will determine whether caring for her is way too much for a person of your age other than your desire to not be bothered. Grandmothers can be a great blessins!!

My college age daughters lived with their grandmother for a year and then had burnout. However, during that time they helped their grandmother to have an independent life with help and have reeped the blessing of knowing they did what they could for their grandmother. One daughter became a close friend to her grandmother and got along beautifully, the other daughter did things just because they needed to be done. She did not reach out to become a friend to her grandmother and therefore everything she did for her grandmother was out of necessity instead of joy of doing it for her.