elderly parents live with me - Caregivers Message Board

zeezee · 06-01-2004, 04:49 PM

I'm desparate right now, my stepfather and mother live with my husband and myself and I am going insane! I don't know what to do but I am bursting tonight and need to vent

Belkin · 06-09-2004, 07:55 PM

More info is needed in order for us to help you.

Lizbef · 06-10-2004, 01:31 AM

Zeezee.........we've told you before - we're here to support you in any way we can - if you need to vent just go for it. Those of us who care for elderly relations understand only too well how overpowering the need to scream can sometimes be!!! You don't have to give any details you don't want to - just know that there are those of us who know how you feel and understand.

Sending you huge amounts of love and hugs

kay77449 · 06-16-2004, 09:45 PM

I know how you feel I can understand what it is like to be on both ends I am a Certified Nurse assistance and have also taken care of family members it is not easy what you are doing.As I have had to tell myself and the patients family you have to step back take a couple of deep breath make time for your self and what your needs.You both need a break from this 24/7 Not sure what you have
try but their are so many home health care agency that can help you to have someone come in a cople of days a week ten to their needs and to have someone to sit with them all day or night so that you both can have time to spend with one another.Another suggestion is a live in have some one come in five days a week and then the weekend have a partime person work because the live in is going to need their break. Are you parents able to have a place of their own so that someone can live in with them all the time and take care of them. the perso who comes in they must understand that
you need time and that you are going to want them to cook clean up after them and help them with
any other needs some sitter come in and sit and that is all they do not help with anything else like cooking cleaning or assisting them. Their doctor might be able to refer you to an agency that they have use and know that they are good.Let me know how things work out not sure if this has help at all
but I do know how hard of a time it is for you.
Take care kay

Fibbles · 07-21-2004, 09:46 PM

I know what you're going through too. I have a skeletal disease myself, and I'm living with my mom, which is fine. My mom and I are really close and have a great relationship. Last year, my grandparents (my moms mom and dad) moved in. They also brought my great aunt (my moms dads sister), to live in my sisters room. My grandparents are tolerable, but my grandfather and his sister are know it alls. Even in sickness, she (the sister) acts like she knows everything and refuses to take care of herself. She's is legally blind and getting worse, diabetic, and has hearing loss. She will arue back and forth with anything she feels isnt "right", but when you bring up what she's doing thats hurting her health she argues about how she's the only one doing anything right, when she clearly isn't. She's the type that loves to lecture us (everyone but her) about eating healthy and living healthy. Her last dentist visit resulted in finding two cavities on both sides of her mouth, yet trying to make sure she brushes her teeth is like asking a brick wall to move out of your way. Everyday is a new lecture and it makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. I can't keep up with her, especially with some serious problems of my own.