Jestine

My grandmother was just put back in the hospital. She has a lot of medical conditions, as she is in her eighties.

She has a very nice lady care taker who has become very close to her, and who comes by for four hours everyday to help her out. But my grandma is to the point where she needs around the clock care. In her house she has her respirator, and everything else she needs on a daily basis. She basically has everything at home, minus the hospital itself.

She does not want to go into a retirement home, and also she doesn't want a live in care taker either. But those are really the only choices left.

All of the family lives in different states, so it isn't something where we can take turns going there everyday to care for her.

My grandma is a very difficult person for most people to be around, and she isn't very friendly to most people. My mother and grandma have never gotten along, and my sister doesn't like the way she is either, so they are not willing to get involved to do anything other than put her in a retirement home. I'm not so sure they would be able to take care of her anyways, since they both have their own lives.

My mother wants to get involved as far as her will and property (she doesn't want the state to take the house, which is paid for) and would like to get the rights to the house (if I said that right) so she can sell it.

I'm not in a position my self to take care of my grandma. I have my business which started up a year ago, I don't have very much money, and most of all I don't think I would be capable to care for her on my own.

With that said...

The way I feel about it is, my grandmother is not going to be around very much longer, and am trying to figure out what I can do to help, where she can be happy until she is gone. I would like for her to be able to stay at home, since that is where she is happy. But the best I figure that I can do is to go up there to see her once a month if possible. I've tried to talk to my mother about this, but she only wants to talk about the things my grandmother does and has done wrong. Talking about that is not going to deal with what is going on, and I don't think she is going to let it go...so there is no help on that end.

I know she will not openly welcome the idea of having a care taker live with her, but she will most likely be more open to that idea than to be put in a home.

How do I go about finding a live in care taker? I have never dealt with this before. What are the chances of finding a care taker who will be able (or willing) to put up with someone who is so difficult, and who will also take good care of her and be trustworthy? Or if you have a recommendation of a care taker/service in Ohio, that would be helpful as well.

Even if you don't have an answer for any of these questions, any idea or suggestions would be helpful. I think I am pretty much on my own with this now, and I'm not sure what to do about the situation.

Thanks,
Jestine