overwhelmed - Caregivers Message Board

chocoe43 · 01-27-2003, 03:58 PM

I am 43. My husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in June, and my mom with advanced breast cancer last month. I have 2 kids, ages 13 and 15. I am feeling like I am overwhelmed at the moment. I just want to do stuff that does not deal with med tests, drugs, chemo, radiation and bad news. I feel guilty as I am not the one that is sick, and I should not feel this way. I feel like there is no way out of this nightmare. After it is all over, I will be left without my support system of my mom and husband, with 2 kids to put through college. Anyway, thanks for listening.

BlueBee · 01-28-2003, 03:05 PM

Hello,

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. It must be very tough for you, what you're going through.
There is such a thing that's called "repite care". I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but it is a community service where someone comes into your home to help take care of your ill loved one/ones, while it gives the main caregiver a much needed break. You might want to call a visiting nurse association or the local Hospice to find out how to go about getting this started. You can use a search engine and enter "respite care", you'll be pleased with what you find, I think.
In the meantime, do you have anyone else that can come in and give you some help? A sister, brother, neighbor, etc...?
Best of luck to you.

crowepps · 02-01-2003, 01:55 PM

You feel exactly the way you should feel - you are not the one who is sick, true, but you are also a victim of this tragedy and your life will be irrevocably changed. There is grief for your husband, grief for your mother, but of course there is grief for yourself. There are some great survivors groups through Hospice which might help you, and your children, deal with this terrible thing.