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Old 09-14-2007, 08:00 PM   #1
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mills0418 HB User
No will to live?

My neighbors mother, who was 78, died in May. She just took a turn for the worse and never recovered and basically gave up and didn't want to go on. She wouldn't eat, drink, etc, and she finally wasted away and passed on.

Her daughter has delt with her death, she was her main caregiver for 30+ years, the good & bad. The only thing that bothers her is that her mother gave up the will to live. She was a steadfast Christian lady, so we knew she was ready to go 'home', but her daughter can't get over her just giving up all together. She had no desire to get better or even try, just gave up.

Has anyone else experienced that? Is it a chemical thing in the brain that just gives way or a mental thing after so much exhaustion...what?



THANKS, I want to help her, but have never been through such a thing, so I thought I would come here.

 
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Old 09-15-2007, 01:07 AM   #2
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Nexis HB User
Re: No will to live?

I know that depression can be a cause - there are biological factors, yet maybe there were circumstances that were not being addressed, such as pain management etc..


I know its a great loss to someone, yet an elderly person who is in dire pain and agony is not address enough either by the medical community referring to the proper professional, ex. social worker, and they patient loses hope because their concerns are not taken care of...

Did she have any signs of dementia or Alzheimer's?

Last edited by Nexis; 09-15-2007 at 01:09 AM.

 
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Old 09-16-2007, 06:52 PM   #3
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Re: No will to live?

I have had a similar situation. My grandmother was always full of life. She was always the life of the party and she played her eukele and sang songs for hours at a time during family gatherings. She never acted her age until she was about 75 years old. For about a year, she was real irritable and always talking about her childhood and reminising about family. She yelled at the kids for no reason and called them dummies over silly mistakes that would never bother her before. She was a swimmer and loved the water. She made sure all of her children could swim. She lived on a channel off the Gulf of Mexico. One night, my grandfather was in bed and woke suddenly with an erie feeling that something was wrong. My grandmother was floating in the channel face down.. She drowned. Her lungs were full of water. She did not jump in or even fall. There were no bruises anywhere, not even her feet, that makes me believe that she walked down the steps and went underwater and took one deep breath. She was afraid of growing any older. She was getting depressed and angry with life. My grandfather and a few other family members were very concern about her actions in the previous month.

A few days after the funeral, her children were going through her things for my grandfather. They found one of her nightgowns stuffed in a closet. The area all around the neck was bloody. My grandfather confessed that two weeks earlier, he came home and found her in bed with a knife and she had cut her throat, not serious enough for stitches, but scary. As he bandaged the cuts and helped her clean up, she begged him not to tell anyone and he gave her his word. She told him she didn't want to get old. She promised never to do that again.

I believe that my grandmother was ready to meet her maker. She lived a long and joyous life and she was just tired and a little afraid of the symptoms that she was experiencing with age. She didn't say goodbye and that makes me angry. She is loved and missed and I really do understand why she had to leave. I'm 45 years old and I'm trying to make the best of life. Age is not an option for anyone and when my time is up, I will join my grandmother in the wonderful world she is in today, Until then, I have her memories in my heart. Hope this helps. Your neighbor is blessed to have your there. Take care.

 
Old 09-17-2007, 02:41 AM   #4
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Nexis HB User
Re: No will to live?

I agree with Jambo44,

Its very difficult when an elderly person begins to exhibits conditions that cannot be medically cured as well, such as progressive or terminal illness...

Not to mention cognitive functions decline as well, and an elderly person is completely dependent on others, and even then that's not enough...

There are too many complications as one grows old and weak, and as Jambo44 mentioned what we can do is to have compassion for the elderly and reach out to them as much as we possibly can, and learn that we must not take our health for granted....

I see people my age drinking compulsively, binge eating, dieting to be stick thin, yet they don't treat their bodies well...

We must not waste ourselves away, and cherish our elderly citizens...

 
Old 09-17-2007, 09:00 PM   #5
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mills0418 HB User
Re: No will to live?

Thank you to everyone who responded. Although I have never gone through it personally, my heart goes out to all of you. I live beside my grandmother, who is 78, though fairly healthy, I see a decline in her mobility as the months pass and I know that there is coming a day when she will be bed ridden, even though, I know it sounds horrible, but I hope the Lord would take her before she got into such shape. Not on my account, I'd give up my life for her, but for her sake - she hates to be stuck in a house, not be able to help herself, etc., and I know that the knows that it's inevitable too. Thats why I spend each day with her because you never know what tomorrow may bring.

Blessings to you all!

 
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