My mom is 73 yrs old and currently in the hospital. She had her thyroid removed in 2005, has COPD, leg arteries are completely blocked due to years of heavy smoking. She refuses to take her medication, eat and bath. She will fib to the doctors when they ask her questions about taking her meds or her health in general. I need help.
Does Medicare have help for people like her? I cannot take care of her by myself. I need to know if we can apply for disability insurance when she is living on SSI only. She just retired from her work right before her surgery.
I know she will hate me for putting her in a nursing home or have hospice care at her apartment. I know she will just go back to how things were before I had to check her in.
I live in the Phoenix area and wonder if there are agencies that can help?
Well, here we are, Mom's in rehab/nursing home and is completely helplees. I have to feed her due to her nerves are so damaged from not taking meds.
This place is really nice. However is it expensive. I've got leeds out there for financial help.
Want to know what she did on Easter???? She smoked a cigarette. The way she looked was like somone who just had a bite of food that tastes like no tomorrow., disgusting.
I'm ready- to give her a carton and lwt her smoke herself to death.
You know Phoenix, I thought that. Sunday I'm getting her ready to go outside and get some air. Had the aids help me get her in her wheelchair, oxgyen tank on her- then all the aids that helped us- told her "you've lived a good life and if you want a cigarette go ahead. Mom has become nasty towards me when ever I speak to the aids or nurse. I know this isn't her. She stares and doesn't want to eat unless I feed her.
Mind you this woman is my hero. She taught me how to fight my battles, help rasie my kids and now she's like a zombie. I've been going thru hell and I feel it takes every ounce to go and see her. Remember, she refused to take her meds when she lived alone so all this is a result of her stubborness.
Phx, thanks for you spending time listening to me, it makes me feel better knowing I've got your eyes and ears.
Phoenix1, You're right. I need to get past the anger that she let herself go and I will talk with the aids and let them know she can't smoke any more.
I will go there as my mother's daughter and sit by her bed and let her know I love her and will be there for her. As she would for me.
I guess I just got a little selfish and wanted her to still be my mom, not my older mom. I've been going thru testing for ovarian cancer and not having her as my "mom" is hurting on the inside. You know the mom talk that everythings going to be okay....The testing, and not knowing if she's going to stay in the Nursing home just got to me.
You know I was at work today and talked about you. How you have great "ears" and I feel comfortable in discussing yesterday, today and tomorrow with you. My dear friend at work is very proud of me for opening up and talking. She knows this is a difficult situation.
After taking a break for a couple of days, I went for a visit with mom. What a mistake. As soon as I walked into her room she looked at me and said I just wet the bed. Now mind you she is doing this 3 to 4 times a day. When I asked her if she felt a sensation she said yes but so what She is almost defiant about this. The aids and nurses tell me she's getting combative when they get her for rehab. She refuses to eat, just pushes the food around on her plate so looks like she ate. To me if she's smart enough to do these "tricks" I'm not falling for them. I feel like such a fool that she's tring to get back into the hospital for more attention. Some days I don't even want to see her and the days I go I can take about an hour and I have to get out and breath. IF I HEAR ANOTHER PERSON TELL ME I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HAS HAPPEND I'M GOING TO SCREAM. I think back just a month ago she was resting in her bed at home then finding a months' supply of her meds not taken. The scrips were filled, but she wanted to ignore them. All that ignoring got her in a nursing home and I have to handle the visits, social security, medicare her bills, her home that she lived in. If she just took her meds...she could be at her own home with her dogs, (that I had to take to the pound on sunday)
As always thanks you. I noticed that after a visit with Mom it's takes me about 2 days to start feeling "normal" again. I am not a bad daughter for only visiting 3 times a week. I'm not a bad daughter for giggling under my breath when they put thoses ex-lrg diapers, [oh, excuse me] "briefs",[as the nurses call them ] on her.
Tomorrow I will go there and try and be the daughter.
What happens to the body whne the will to live stops? I saw Mom today she had the nursing home dr's visit. On March 4th I checked her in and she weighted 185 lbs. Today she weighs 140 lbs. I brought her favortie meal and she took one bite and quit eating. She is taking fluids. I walk in the room and there she is off staring at nothing. She is coherant at times, then she goes off and stares. The dr and nurses say she won't eat.
Is she getting ready to go? She tells me she's in pain, but it's her back and legs. Osteoporosis. How long can ones body go without food? I read that people who are getting ready to pass on the first step is stop eating. This last about 2-3 months?
Anyone know what I'm to expect and how can I make the best of her days?