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-   -   Sick dad's still alive, but mom needs to get out and meet a man (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/caregivers/590015-sick-dads-still-alive-but-mom-needs-get-out-meet-man.html)

mom1942 03-20-2008 12:16 PM

Sick dad's still alive, but mom needs to get out and meet a man
 
My mom is a vital, healthy and active 65 year old woman married to a 67 year ole man struck down by a bad stroke 3 1/2 years ago. She was starting to "fall out of love with him" before the stroke and now she feels stuck. She won't abandon him, but doesn't particularly treat him with all the care he needs. She desperately wants a man to "take care of her" for a change. Is she wrong for this? Does she have the right to go out with another man while her husband is alive? He is partially paralyzed so sex is out. Anybody out there have a similar situation? What did you do?

AnnD 03-20-2008 12:43 PM

Re: Sick dad's still alive, but mom needs to get out and meet a man
 
Your mom is quite selfish isn't she?! I don't think I can print the words that come to mind. At least tell her to divorce the man before she just starts fooling around with some other poor sucker.

Misty800 03-21-2008 06:25 PM

Re: Sick dad's still alive, but mom needs to get out and meet a man
 
I get the impression this is a second marriage for your mom and the guy is not your dad.

I agree with the other poster, your mom is showing her true colors, being selfish, and apparently did not take her wedding vows very seriously.

The same thing could have happened in the reverse and it was your mom with a stroke. I don't think she would like being tossed aside and her husband finding another chick on two feet.

Husbands and wives are not intended to be discarded like used paper plates. Toss and then go get another one.

Sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but with the info provided it appears to be the way it is.

Phoenix 03-22-2008 03:58 AM

Re: Sick dad's still alive, but mom needs to get out and meet a man
 
Hello M1942,

As we are not supposed to pass judgement on this site and it is not in my nature to do so, please allow me to say a few words:

It sounds that the marriage portion of your post is a relationship issue but allow me to go beyond that.

If your mother's heart isn't in it; resenting your father and failing to provide him with the adequate care that is needed;she needs to find someone(relative,etc.) or some facility that will do so.

A legal seperation can be discussed.

Above all else, she needs to be honest with him; subtly.

That conflicted feeling she's having may speak volumes as to her [I]true[/I] feelings.

Perhaps a weeks vacation(alone) may put things into perspective.

What I have provided here is a difficult answer to a difficult question;simply food for thought.

Take care.

Respectfully,

Phoenix


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