Hello, I'm unfortunately no stranger to cancer (breast cancer) and when my friend Angela's husband was recently dx's w/ leukemia I urged her get involved on a message board where only those having experienced the illness could truly relate. She posted on cancer compass board where there isn't much activity and hasn't rec'd a response. I don't want her to become disillusioned and give up on a message board that helped me immensely, so I'm reposting out here on the WebMD leukemia board in the hopes that someone can give her some guidance. Please see her post i've pasted below and if anyone can offer any sort of advice on how she can get thru this tough situation (and what her husband might need the most from her), we'd be grateful. Has anyone else sought professional help, help from anti-anxiety drugs and/or anything else that has brought relief? Please share your experience. I know when I was diagnosed my husband expressed that he felt completely out of control but didn't feel like he could verbalize how terrified he was... he felt like he needed to be the strong one and I think that's how Angela is feeling and she's crumbling. Thanks to everyone on the board and wishing you all the best!
My husband was recently diagnosed with ALL at the age of 32. He has been through his first round of chemo and is doing very well so far. He is tough, they caught it extremely early and I truly believe that he is going to get through this. In the meantime, I'm very worried about myself. I'm an emotional mess and every attempt I've made to try to find professional help has turned into a debacle of epic proportions.
I'm tired and angry that my life has been completely put on hold. I worry about him constantly and can't sleep. Is there anyone else out there that is going through this that can relate? My family and friends are very supportive (most of whom live far away), but if one more person tells me to be strong for him, I might have to strangle them. I'm just looking for any advice to help me get through this so I can give him what he needs to fight this disease.
Thank you for responding, i'm sending this thread to her so she can check back directly for any responses and answer back. So please treat this as if it was her post. She's really needing support and words of comfort. Thank you again!!!!
May I ask what attempts you've made to seek therapeutic intervention?
In what ways has your life been put on hold?
It is quite understandable to be concerned about your husband's well-being.
I will not tell you to be strong for him(which I am sure you are doing already) but I will say that you need to take some time out for yourself.
When I say this, I mean to treat yourself to some relaxation time, whether it be a nice bath, an occasional walk; you may even consider picking up a hobby.
Posting on these boards can also be therapeutic, in its own right. It provides an avenue to express and bring to the table any concerns that you may have.
I decided to see a therapist bc I realized that I needed help dealing with how I feel. My husband and I are very close, but there were things that I was feeling that I didn't want to say to him. I wanted to be able to talk to someone who would not judge me, but could help me learn to deal with how I feel. So far, I think it has been very beneficial.
In regards to how my life has been put on hold, I mean that I feel that I have little control over my life. If my husband wakes up in the morning with a fever, I have to take him to the hospital. I can't plan trips, let alone if I'm going to work the next day. Also, we were trying to start a family prior to his diagnosis, so everything that we had planned has now changed - at least for now.
