Originally Posted by rosequartz
It's time for some tough love from everyone who's being abused here.......other than that I'd say you've got the right idea......stay away from him.
Thanks for the words Rose.
The unfortunate thing about it is that everyone makes me feel that I am the one that needs to 'be an adult' and not let this upset the family dynamics (as screwed up as it may be). I can remember being told this as a child growing up. Everyone catered to him and there was no such thing as tough love.
Right now, I am the only one that sees things as they are so its difficult for me to convince my parents otherwise, since they are so concerned in fixing his life.
Would them stepping away cause more problems because he doesn't have the mental capacity to deal with things on his own (especially since he's never learned that)? I think that's why they haven't done so yet. With so many threats & guilt-trips (why don't you care, if you loved me...etc) its hard for them to stand up.
Unfortunately, in the meantime, I have to watch it all go from bad to really bad and I feel so out of control.
Family functions are stressing because I'm not sure what mood he's in and what kinds of things he'll say/do. Most of the time he's ok but there have been many occassions where he gets mad at one thing, slams doors, makes sarcastic comments, and treats everyone like poop. Meanwhile, my parents make excuses that he's having a bad day or week or month.
Then of course, I don't want to let his prescence prevent me from enjoying the holidays so I end up going, having being guilted myself in not being "the bigger person"...but its getting to the breaking point where I can't put myself through this, and watch as everyone ignores the issue.