Has anyone had to deal with friends who just do not understand the demands on your life as a caregiver to an elderly person? I have a friend who makes unreasonable demands on me because I do not spend as much time with them as before. Help! I can not take the extra stress!
I understand what you are saying. I was a caregiver for the past 10 years for my mom who just passed away this past Friday. The last few years of her life were very demanding with her cancer diagnosis. I would be invited (and expected) to do things with family/friends.
The way I learned to handle the situation so that I didn't feel stressed was to explain to them that "GOD had blessed me with the very important job of being Mom's caregiver. She is now my first priority. If I am able to get out for a short while, I would love to attend...I will just have to play it by ear."
Mostly everyone understood this and would still invite me to events stating they understood if I was unable to attend. However, there were those few
that just quit inviting.
You certainly find out in the hard times those who are truly your friends.
Has anyone had to deal with friends who just do not understand the demands on your life as a caregiver to an elderly person? I have a friend who makes unreasonable demands on me because I do not spend as much time with them as before. Help! I can not take the extra stress!
OnCall,
Some just don't have a clue, while others are just plain selfish.
Explain to your friend that since you became a caregiver, your priorities had to change, for the sake of your new responsibilities.
Some just don't have a clue, while others are just plain selfish.
Explain to your friend that since you became a caregiver, your priorities had to change, for the sake of your new responsibilities.
Keep up the good work giving care.
Respectfully,
Phoenix
Thanks! at least I know I am not alone in feeling this way or having to deal with selfish people who don't want to understand. As a caregiver you have enough guilt worrying about your parents and making sure your kids get what they need also. It is hard to deal with selfish friends in addition. The sad thing is that I have explained this change in my life, just like you mentioned, but it seems this friend wants all or nothing. It is sad. I have resolved in my heart that my priorities are my kids, my parents, myself and what I can give of myself to others after that. I have to "tend to my own cart" now. Thanks again for listening.
I am sorry to hear about your mother. I appreciate you taking the time to help others wth their problems as you deal with your loss. I think it is wonderful that you were able to be a loving support to her through her illness. Like you, I consider it a blessing to have this opportunity to assist my parents through these years of their lives. It is a very honorable thing that we all do.
