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Old 07-31-2008, 12:36 PM   #1
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Mental health/sister/need support

I have nowhere really to turn here. When my sister was born she was developmentally delayed. She had distagma, club feet, clef palet and and a very low IQ. Throughout her life there was a divorce another sisters death from suicide and and her dad was in her life until recently and things got really bad. My mom kept her in school as long as she could and i was a big part of her life when we were younger as far as while my mom worked and slept and had her me time. And then i continue to get pregnant at a young age of eighteen and had to care for my child and wasnt involved much in her life other than support to my mom and spending time with her when i gave my mom her me time. I always told my mom and reassured her that when she couldn't do it anymore i would be there to intervene, wich i would have been at any given point but i never felt ready really and now is the time as recently she got really bad and i had to go sign a petition to get my siter treatment and have her involuntarily admitted for treatment. Meanwhile she has been aggresive there and thier moving her to anothe facility. From my point of view i feel ready and capable of caring for her keeping up with her treatment and services. But me and my mom have always had our differences and i have just set them aside as she continued to drink growing up after divorce and the loss of my other sister, so i am kinda stuck and i am getting gaurdianship of my sister hell or highwater and have enough to back up that i am capable and it i know is going to be a long road but i am willing to take on that responsibility! But i guess what i am concerned is i am in the process of getting an advocate but in the meantime i am worried about this move to the other facility and no other family members besides my mom are contacting me about the situation at hand as far as my sister and i'm not saying i need them to but i am as new to this as one might be given the circumstances of the past! I think i am doing very well with this in keeping up with this all for my sister and in her best interest! It's just very hard mentally to know what would be the right decisions with it for her.
Love, Monkey

 
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Old 08-01-2008, 08:06 PM   #2
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Re: Mental health/sister/need support

cynbo, thanks for the kind works, lord knows i need them right now! I will also check out your story. What i am facing is that, my mom got mad it kinda seemed that i could not make it to see sis tonight and doesn't want to realize that even though i will do everything in my power for this that my husband may have to work late sometimes and i still have a little son to take in concern. I assured her i will be there tommorrow although noone as of yet that i know of has visited, and i don't care, despite how it is going to be hard my mom needs to take that step and i know she will when she is ready but my sis i know has been ready. As they were thinking about transferening her yesterday they didn't because they had to figure out her IQ beforehand to see if the other facility was equiped to handle her but needed to know to what extent was her ability to understand. I am concerned with this possible transfer, i don't like it and it makes me ill feeling about it but my dilema is this. If i have her released so she is not sent there then in my eyes my only really option at the drop of a hat is to bring her home with me because i don't feel as i want her to go home with my mom as she is not done being treated and fear my mom will as in the past not keep her taking meds and such and services. I have a meeting on Tuesday like the treatment meeting and then court of Thursday for the gaurdianship, i am kinda stuck except i am the one that gets to make the descision right? My mom has already stated she couldn't do it anymore and she was not very clear on this like she can't handle it as in what my sis was doing or she is to old and weak to have her doing what she is doing. Although the tables are turned now and it's in the works she is hesitant to say on concrete ground.
Thanks, Monkey

 
Old 08-03-2008, 04:31 AM   #3
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Re: Mental health/sister/need support

Hello M,

Your intentions are admirable but make sure that you are prepared for this responsibility.

Do a little research and ask the facilities questions with respect to her daily behavior and what times of the day seem to be most difficult for her, sleeping habits, etc.

Ask yourself if you will be able to tolerate her "inconsistencies."

Take care.

Phoenix

Last edited by Phoenix; 08-03-2008 at 04:39 AM.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:53 AM   #4
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Re: Mental health/sister/need support

Monkey, Please take a few minutes to think about this. I know much of your own story and about your chronic pain that is not treated properly. I also know how little emotional and physical support you get from your husband. If anything, he is emotionally abusive to you. I don't think that it is good for you to take on this enormous responsibility. I'm afraid it will be your undoing. I know you love your sister and you made certain promises to your mom, but I am so afraid you and your son will suffer greatly if you go through with this.

I care about you Monkey. I really do. I have been a caregiver and it took a huge toll on me physically and emotionally. As much as I loved the people I cared for, my life has never been the same and it took it's toll on my family as well. We survived it, but just barely. And I had a lot more support than you do.

Please, please, rethink this. I am extremely worried about you. You have been through so much already and you deserve to be happy. You have to think about your son. He needs his mom. Please don't do something to jeopardize that. I will be praying for you, sweetie. I hope you think long and hard about what I am trying to say. God Bless you, cmpgirl

 
Old 08-05-2008, 05:15 PM   #5
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Re: Mental health/sister/need support

cmpgirl, thanks for your concern and support! It's greatly appreciated! I have been planning for years. Yes in the past my hubby was not supportive and he has did a total 100 degree turn around. He has been involved with the kids and services i have gotten for us well, If you new us personally you would be amazed let me tell you! Because i am ! I just think he new he was losing his grip and had to get a hold. As far as my sis is concerned i have alot of support there as well even from the community already and my hubby has always been behind me on this as well. I didn't mean to make him out to be so bad!
Take care, Monkey

 
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