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Old 08-15-2008, 04:11 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 52
bess01 HB User
Husband with cancer,sisterinlaws,and furnerals.

Hello to all,my husband has stomach cancer and has been on chemo now for 3 months.He has lost his beard and hair and now wears a beanie.
WELL TODAY a furneral was held for his sister in law WHO died from lung cancer.
My husband wanted to go TO THE FURNERAL AND during the service he was sad at times AND moaned softly,that only i could understand.

I had my arm around the back of HIS chair and stroked his back.

One of the sons of his deceased mother,took his 3 year old daughter to view his deceased mother in the coffin.STRANGE I THOUGHT.

ANYWAY after the service, and while we was standing out side of the chapel,ONE of my husbands sisters came up to me,AND ASKED ME, IF I WAS LOOKING AFTER HIM,I TOOK IT SHE WAS REFERRING TO HER BROTHER,MY HUSBAND.

I HAD BEEN TOLD RECENTLY TO LOOK AFTER MY HUSBAND, BY ANOTHER ONE OF MY HUSBANDS SISTERS,
(SO I HAD A REPLY READY, FOR SUCH AN OCCASION IF IT SHOULD ARISE).

I REPLIED WITH, HE HAS NOT SACKED ME YET,
I COULD SEE SHE WAS A BIT PERPLEXED WITH MY ANSWER,AND AFTER A LITTLE WHILE,SHE THEN REPLIED WITH, PERHAPS HE COULD NOT FIND A SACK.

SHE DID NOT EVEN HAVE THE GOOD SENSE TO ASK MY HUSBAND HOW HE WAS,OR TO EVEN EMBRACE HIM.

OVER THE PAST 40 YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE,ALL OF HIS SISTERS,( BAR ONE )HAS SAID HURTFULL THINGS TO ME,BUT AT THIS TIME,ITS REALLY BELOW THE BELT,AND NOT HELPING ANYONE.
BEST WISHES FROM JOY.

 
Old 08-17-2008, 12:00 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,884
cmpgirl HB User
Re: Husband with cancer,sisterinlaws,and furnerals.

Bess,

I am sorry that your husband is ill and that he has also lost a sister-in-law. It must have been so difficult to sit through the funeral service with all that he is carrying on his own shoulders right now.

The older I get, the more disillusioned I have become with some of the people in this world of ours. I will never understand how a family can be so cruel and thoughtless about one of their own. Your husband's sisters must be very self-absorbed people and must not have any idea of what love or compassion is.

Sadly, there are people in our lives who are just toxic and we have to make the choice to keep them at a distance, for our own self preservation. The real pity is, that sometimes these toxic people are family. Please try to continue to live your lives with the love and compassion that the two of you obviously have for each other. And try to surround yourselves with the family and friends who truly love and care for you.

I wish you and your husband the very best and I will pray for a fast and full recovery. Take care of each other and may God bless you both.

 
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Old 08-17-2008, 03:16 AM   #3
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 52
bess01 HB User
Re: Husband with cancer,sisterinlaws,and furnerals.

Dear Cmpgirl,
Thank you so much for your kind words of support.
Yesterday the day after the furneral, what she said was still bugging me,so i thought how dare she, so i sent her a letter telling her to keep any further opinions to herself.
I also have my husbands support over it all,which gives me the strength and love to carry on. Love and best wishes from Joy.

 
Old 08-29-2008, 09:36 PM   #4
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: North Augusta, South Carolina
Posts: 59
Grana HB User
Re: Husband with cancer,sisterinlaws,and furnerals.

Put them on IGNORE and continue on spending quality time with your husband. They will answer for their actions.......what goes around comes around.

 
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