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Old 02-06-2009, 06:36 PM   #1
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back and need support!

I am on her again and helping my sister, i went to see her at the hospital tonight as we had to admit her recently again and shes not going be able to go home again. She broke down and told me my said if she went back again she would leave her and go out of state. She is DD and i am fumed that my mom would have said it like this to her. I am finally working with the community to get her even more help as the last bunch didn't do crap for her yet over like three months. I am a mess but holding my own. I don't know what i would have done if this one service wasn't there for me and sis. I am so sad and i am the only one there for her as far as family right this moment. It's a very sad situation and has been for a few years. My mom has been an Alcholoic. Family divorce in the past. I really feel my mom went about this all wrong and i don't have the nerve to stand up to her at least not until after the weekend when i know my sis will let me help her. Wish me luck!
Monkey

 
Old 02-09-2009, 01:35 AM   #2
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Re: back and need support!

sorry to hear you are going through this. you sound like a great sister to have with good understanding. what is your sister's diagnosis? i hope you get to sort out what sounds like a very complicated situation.

 
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:33 AM   #3
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Re: back and need support!

thanks, she has mental retardation but not. And i am hoping to find some answers today but noone is calling me back, i'm scared for her. Does anyone know if a court judge can appoint me to be gaurdian with someone with mental illness and or DD? I am scared the sytem is scamming on me.
monkey

 
Old 02-10-2009, 12:56 AM   #4
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Re: back and need support!

can you ask a lawyer or talk to citizens advice bureau? thinking of you both.

 
Old 02-10-2009, 09:24 AM   #5
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Re: back and need support!

irish, thanks for thinking of us. I got alot accomplished today and yesterday for my sister at least. Everyone was calling back finally and i am exhausted but i made sure to eat today! I am talking to a local advocate that is working with us and we just did the power of attorney papers yesterday and i hope that doen't back fire or anything. We are just getting the runaround from people on the gaurdianship and that makes it difficult. I just wish everyone ould put things in English and not medical term ect. to where one can understand it. My sisters advocate is awesome at least! I am going to get some rest.
monkey

 
Old 02-10-2009, 09:39 AM   #6
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Re: back and need support!

dreams, thats okay and i see that you searched. I had to learn in one day what alot meant like not so much DD but they throw in and talk fast with MI ect, wich mentally ill. It drove me nuts but i will do whatever it takes to help my sister become independent and successful as possible within her capadablity! I love her so so muc and my mom over the years have made it so difficult to be close to her but i know i can't go back but i can go forward! Also i get the benifiets of knowledge with my own family as i have a few kids with diagnosis! Thanks a bunch for support!
monkey

 
Old 02-10-2009, 09:46 AM   #7
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Re: back and need support!

monkey,

I know exactly what you are going through and am sending you plenty of hugs. When I was hospitalized for my first manic/psychotic episode 2 years ago, hospitalized again in November and December, my sister was there for me every single day. She called the nurses daily to find out how I was doing and never left my side when the ER staff evaluated me and asked me questions. I think it's wonderful how you're supporting your sister. She obviously needs you and the more you can be there for her, the better. Please continue to stick by her and let her know how much she is loved. That's what my sister did for me during all of the times I've been hospitalized (a total of 8 times since 1991) and it proved to be invaluable in allowing me to know that I wasn't alone in dealing with my mental illnesses. More hugs!
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Last edited by dreams in neon; 02-10-2009 at 09:47 AM.

 
Old 02-11-2009, 12:28 AM   #8
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Re: back and need support!

hi

am so glad you got an advocate, it is so difficult to even have a proper conversation with the docs when the medical terminology can be confusing. good about power of attorney too. really hoping all continues to improve for you. you sound exhausted.

 
Old 02-11-2009, 12:33 PM   #9
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Re: back and need support!

irish, thanks very much, it's very hard especially if your all alone in the process. We had a team meeting this am and we found out that they started my sister on a new medication and they said with that the power of attorney didn't matter.So i'm thinking what exactly is it good for. PLus not to mention at meeting ect. i always feel intimidated by the professionals and my support advocate could not be there today, it's been feeling like thier trying to push me out of the picture ect. as she has no gaurdian and they will not even discuss that with me and like i said i keep getting the run around. I know that they don't want people to become gaurdianship to take a person with dd away, but not all families are like that.. The hearing is tommorrow and i am even more nervous and cannot eat ugh. My dad is also finally getting involved and that might help alot. Thanks
Melissa

 
Old 02-12-2009, 01:29 AM   #10
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Re: back and need support!

best of luck with hearing, glad your father is getting involved if it will help. is dd a developmental issue? such a pity your advocate couldn't be there when you needed it. willl think of you for hearing.

 
Old 02-12-2009, 07:48 AM   #11
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Re: back and need support!

isishwriter, thanks for the support. At least my sisters other advocate could be at the hearing to help me understand stuff wich was neccessarily a good thing. It didn't matter anyway as i didn't have a say in what happened ithier way. One thing that saddens me is they say don't blam other ect. but my sisters MI is a result of her mental disability i am not a licenced dr. nor do i have a proffessional degree but dr.s do always say family knows your kids and family members better than they do and i have always been as involved as i can be. Also my sister in law says all the time that you should never hate anyone but i can't help the way i feel unless i should just pick up a bottle and start drinking theses issues away right, and until my mom if ever gets treatmnet i will consider her drinking not a disease but rather an escape not to deal with life situations they needed to be delt with. And i don't care what they say she did this to my sister and if i was angry and pretty much forced to be left in my room i would probably hit people also, my sister had a choice but with her disability she needed care and didn't get it, i should have stepped up along time ago and reported my mom if it was going to be in the best interest of my sister, i always have worried what my mom would think or do, well not anymore. Now all i can do is help her plan for the future and help her to succeed from here.
Thanks for being here to let me vent!

Last edited by monkey5; 02-12-2009 at 07:49 AM. Reason: Info

 
Old 02-13-2009, 12:21 AM   #12
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Re: back and need support!

good for you. it is always difficult to stand up to or go against a parent because there is always that need for their approval. sometimes we have to let that go. easier said than done. i hope your mother gets some help with drinking and that she comes to realise that it is a problem. it never solves anything and is a depressant so not a road to go down. how did the hearing go?

 
Old 02-13-2009, 10:38 PM   #13
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Re: back and need support!

IRISH,omg i jjust wrote a whole paragrah and i hit the wrong button, i just got my new laptop and i am not used to it! The hearing sucked. The community angency was not there and the judged seemed puzzled. She got sixty days and i cried all day, but i have held it together along time!I had so many things going through my head peed off. There was so much this agency could have been doing for my sister since the last time that i found out about. How do these people get paid! Welli did find out through my local web site that all i have to do is submit the petition for guardianship and hopefully with an evaluation and if i want to wait for the agency to get off thier lazy azz and do thier job i can get the filing fee waived, well news for them my mom has told me she would pay for! Oh and my dad thank god i finally got him back in the picture because he is going to get an attorney And even if he cannot get her out sooner or something at least we can make sure none of her rights been violated. It makes no sense i know she needed some help but her handicap is that she is twentysix and only has a mind of about a fifteen year old! Talk soon! I havebeentrying to breathe!
monkey

 
Old 02-15-2009, 04:47 AM   #14
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Re: back and need support!

Quote:
Originally Posted by monkey5 View Post
IRISH,omg i jjust wrote a whole paragrah and i hit the wrong button, i just got my new laptop and i am not used to it! The hearing sucked. The community angency was not there and the judged seemed puzzled. She got sixty days and i cried all day, but i have held it together along time!I had so many things going through my head peed off. There was so much this agency could have been doing for my sister since the last time that i found out about. How do these people get paid! Welli did find out through my local web site that all i have to do is submit the petition for guardianship and hopefully with an evaluation and if i want to wait for the agency to get off thier lazy azz and do thier job i can get the filing fee waived, well news for them my mom has told me she would pay for! Oh and my dad thank god i finally got him back in the picture because he is going to get an attorney And even if he cannot get her out sooner or something at least we can make sure none of her rights been violated. It makes no sense i know she needed some help but her handicap is that she is twentysix and only has a mind of about a fifteen year old! Talk soon! I havebeentrying to breathe!
monkey
monkey,

deep, deep breaths! sorry to hear that hearing did not go well. hope petition to court works. you are so good to be there for your sister. i have seven sisters and three brothers (had four but one completed suicide six years ago) and only one of them really understands bp mainly because she has ben dxd with major depression. hang in there. we are all rooting for you.

 
Old 02-15-2009, 08:43 AM   #15
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Re: back and need support!

Thanks irish,i need alot of support and i need to find away to only just be her sister. I am trying to help her at the same time and i need to remember to just be her sister! So, i can petition the court? I have did alot of reading on the net about mental health and having a handicap. It just doesn't seem fair. And like i said i do agree she needed help but not like this and this all just should have happened along time ago. I always feel guilty if i don't go to see her but i have my own family and i need to care for them as well, but why do i feel guilty if i don't go see her? I am so worried that these people that are supposed to be helping her are the bad guys! The agencys anyway. Like i said they could have been helping her for the last few months and they did nothing, my mom didn't do anything to get her going ect. and i lived to far away to being doing it all. I hope the lady i'm working with for her is a good guy, i am very worried! How do you know if thier the good ones? If thier there for them or not or against them? Talk later irish!
Monkey

 
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