I'm caregiver- frustrations of the job
I haven't posted here before but I feel like I need to get a few things out. I'm a caregiver four days per week (for 8 hours a day) for a woman with a spinal fracture. She has no movement in her lower body and minimal movement in her upper body, including her arms. I get her up in the morning, do dressing, bathing, bowel movements, and basically are her fingers and toes throughout the day. She's a nice, decent person, but there is one thing--for whatever reason--I'm having problems dealing with.
It is that she seems to want to control my life outside of the time I am with her. She pushes for me to watch the same tv shows that she does so that we can talk about them when I'm with her the next day, and seems genuinely annoyed when I don't watch them--or when I watch something else. She nags at me to make such-and-such a recipe for my dinner--"because I'll just love it," she says, and then makes snippy comments when I do something else for dinner (e.g., "Come on, I know you had time to make it.")
I think she sees herself more as giving me advise on things I might like to do with my spare time, but it comes off as much more overbearing than that, almost like she's micromanaging my life outside of work.
She's also just critical in general. For example, If I tell her I had spaghetti with a butter and garlic sauce for dinner (just for conversation), a usual response will be: "That's it? No vegetables in the sauce or anything? You need to put vegetables in your pasta for a better dinner." It's gotten to the point where I'll lie about what I had for dinner or what I did so I won't have to hear how I could have done it better or what would have been a better use of my time.
I'm very happy to do anything she wants for me when I'm working for her--that's part of the caregiving job, and, in fact, I like helping people. It's the criticism of every little thing I do during my own time that is driving me nuts. I never show that it gets to me, and I always just say something like, "well, that's a good idea," or "maybe i'll try it that way next time."
Any responses would be great. This has been a bit rambling, but sometimes you need to get those thoughts out there.