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marthabk 11-17-2009 03:16 PM

Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
Does anyone have information in dealing with mentally retarded adult's with behavior issues?

angela5271 11-17-2009 04:33 PM

Re: Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
Edited ...............................

marthabk 11-18-2009 06:29 AM

Re: Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
My brother is 57 he has idiopathic mental retardation. He moved in with me 2 yrs ago after my father died. He has never had an issue with incontinence prior to my fathers death. He does not have the best hygiene but never just sat in stool. We have been to therapists and I went along with the idea it was depression. But, it is getting worse. He goes to an adult program 3 days a week. Together we tried cues,rewards,timmers for toileting. I finally gave up and put him in adult diapers since the adult care program was complaining so much. Thinking also he wouldn't like it, I was wrong. I have to drop him off now and pick him up because he smells badly. I have run out of ideas and my mother who has ALZ. also lives with me and when I get upset so does she. I have tried ignoreing it understanding any attention is good attention. Didn't work. I am at a loss at what to try. He has always been spoiled by my parents and he has a heart of gold. I just can't wrap my mind around him just sitting in stool until someone smells it and tells him to go change. If I did'nt know he could stay clean up to the time my father passed I would understand, But,I know he can do it. I promised I would take care of Jimmy. I plan on it. But, this issue has to be settled for me. So, I am looking for help.

Misty800 11-18-2009 03:23 PM

Re: Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
Maybe you could encourage him to handle this situation properly "because your dad would be very proud of you". Doing it for his dad might do the trick. This might work since he stayed clean while his dad was alive.

angela5271 11-18-2009 07:08 PM

Re: Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
edited


You mentioned your brother goes to a day program, do they happen to have service coordinators or behavioral specialists? Does the day program or any other agency in your area provide supports for people with developmental disabilities? That may be a good place to start with trying to find an answer to the soiling issues your brother has. You also mentioned taking your brother to a therapist.

Is your brother able to verbalize what he is feeling in regards to your dad's passing? The soiling may be his way of dealing with the grief. The grieving process is different for everyone, regardless of abilities. In my experience, behavior, whether it is positive or negative, is the result of something (happiness, sadness, anger...etc) and a means of communication, especially for those who are non-verbal.

Has your brother been checked by a regular physician? I know you said this soiling started after your dad's passing, but could it possibly be medical in nature? He is getting older and he may not have as much control over his bowels as he did before.

You say you have tried cues, rewards, timers and such with no success. Sometimes, as in your experience, those things just don't work. I am sure you have, but what about praise when your brother does keep himself clean? I have found that encouraging the wanted "behavior" through praise can sometimes help curb the unwanted "behavior."

I don't know if my ramblings have been much help, but I hope maybe a little. I applaud you for what you are doing, taking care of your brother & ailing mom is a lot, but yet you are still willing to do it. BRAVO!!!

Angela

marthabk 11-19-2009 07:35 AM

Re: Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
We have tried the Dad is watching over you and will help you . We have checked Jim for Gluten intollerence. He is very healthy. I just found out about a waiver that Jim has that may cover a behavior specialist. I have praised him when he stays clean, then he soils himself. My dad was a very quiet man spoke volumes with his eye's. Kind of you just knew if you were in trouble. He was not into praise so I don't think that is something Jim can relate to. He can verbalize feelings but, it is new to him. I have tried reasoning with him as to how much help it would be for me if he stayed clean ie: I would not have to scrub his BR carpet daily, less laundry, he would not have to shower as often ( he hates showers) I know he see's mom's decline and that has to be hard for him as well. But I don't think that is part of it since he and mom are not that close. ( the era of women were to be quiet and pretty) So she never was the authority or very interactive with Jim. If anything pops up for me to try, let me know. If I figure it out with help I will let you all now. Thanks for listening. Martha

dolejaly 11-22-2009 10:51 AM

Re: Behavior of mentaly retarded adults
 
[QUOTE=marthabk;4126205]My brother is 57 he has idiopathic mental retardation. He moved in with me 2 yrs ago after my father died. He has never had an issue with incontinence prior to my fathers death. He does not have the best hygiene but never just sat in stool. We have been to therapists and I went along with the idea it was depression. But, it is getting worse. He goes to an adult program 3 days a week. Together we tried cues,rewards,timmers for toileting. I finally gave up and put him in adult diapers since the adult care program was complaining so much. Thinking also he wouldn't like it, I was wrong. I have to drop him off now and pick him up because he smells badly. I have run out of ideas and my mother who has ALZ. also lives with me and when I get upset so does she. I have tried ignoreing it understanding any attention is good attention. Didn't work. I am at a loss at what to try. He has always been spoiled by my parents and he has a heart of gold. I just can't wrap my mind around him just sitting in stool until someone smells it and tells him to go change. If I did'nt know he could stay clean up to the time my father passed I would understand, But,I know he can do it. I promised I would take care of Jimmy. I plan on it. But, this issue has to be settled for me. So, I am looking for help.[/QUOTE]


My son is only 18, far from an adult, but he has behavioral issues along w/ mental retardation...Although it seems very hard right now, but until he feels some what of a bond w/ someone else as he shared w/ your dad he most likely will continue to have the problems. My son lost a couple of staff workers that he was so very close to that we noticed more behavioral issues w/ him it wasn't until that one person was replaced w/ someone he felt a bond with he wouldn't respond as he was before....Even though they don't express things as well as us and we may deal with things better he is still an individual and is dealing w/ this loss in his own time.....

Just work w/ behavioral specialist and see what they come up with along w/ take into consideration not just his medical problem but he as a person and maybe between the two you might have a step forward, remember it will take some time for him to build that same bond w/ you and you will be the one that replaces your dad in his heart.....

its a lot of patience and I respect you on what you have took on, I feel you had no idea of all that it entailed, but just seeing you asking for help lets me know you are a person w/ a very good heart and wants to help your brother.....Your taking a step in the right direction....There are several programs that might be able to help you through your local mental health department as well....Good luck and God bless....


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