Hey. I've just joined this forum. I have a 20 year old daughter that has Catatonic Schizophrenia as well as Mental Retardation. I wish I had a magic answer for all of us dealing with family, children, with this illness , but I don't. I can say that for me, I am fortunate to have a good team of doctors and medication nurses that help me along. There are days, like today, that I feel so alone in all this. I'm divorced, for many years, and have no living parents. I long for a 'helpmate', husband, but you'd have to be a really 'unquie' person to live in my world! When I try to 'vent' to my only sibling, a sister, she just puts more stress on me by saying that she's worried about me, I'm headed for severe depression, and need counceling.....well..'duh'...me depressed, why I don't see why!! lol...anyway, that just puts more stress on me, the fact that I've now caused her to worry and be all overly concerned about me as well as my daughter....so I choose not to talk to her anymore. Having said that,..it brings me to the reason I have now sought out a caregiver forum to vent my frustrations to. My daughter is my life, but days like today when the 'voices' are talking and she's highly aggitated to the point of screaming...I too feel like screaming...but don't. I HAVE to keep it together, some how, everyday, for her. She has a service dog, which is her very best friend and love of her life. He's a great comfort to her, but ,yes, another 'child' to look after and care for. Good thing he's almost human! ,or thinks he is anyway. Humor...gotta have it,without it, I'd probably cry all the time. Like today, I had to give my girl her 'emergency calm down pill' and on the way home she started to get a bit loopy...saying Look...I'm like and alligator, do this mama...and was making a wide alligator mouth with her hands..i just laughed, and at the next stop light...became an alligator right along with her. Later, when I was in the back of the house, she wandered out our long drive, to the mailbox, with only a t shirt and panties on....oh what the neighbors must think...again, I laugh...because frankly , i don't care what anyone thinks. I don't accept help very graciously, I know I should, but just don't let people into our world, our life, very often. I am slowly feeling the mental exhaution lately though. I have decided to arange for some respite care through CAP, just once in a while...although I don't know what I'll do!...I'm becoming a recluse, even I see that..so time to branch out and go.....well......somewhere!...maybe grab a burger and coffee ...anyway, sorry for the very long, first time post....but I DO feel much better, just putting it all down in type! To everyone that's caring for someone else..no matter what the circumstance.....take care of yourselves, arrange for respite, if even for an hour here and there,,,,because we have to take care of ourselves , in order to take care of the ones we love......it's taken me nearly 21 years to realize that,...and I always give better advice that i take!
Take care, thanks for reading and my God bless each of you!