It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Caregivers Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-01-2010, 01:29 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Durban, South Africa
Posts: 18
thelmavr HB User
Unhappy

My mom is bipolar and we are struggling. She's had it now for 7 years. My sister died 5 years ago and it put her back 10 years. She is still grieving and believes nobody understands her. She is only 56yrs old, but she is permantly paranoid. She just wants to spend money the whole time, and she is flat broke already. She thinks we are all out to get her. I dont know how to handle her. Can someone please give me advise? Even my kids dont want to go and see their grandmother.

I do not know how to handle her. She thinks I am out to get her - paranoia.... She doesnt understand that I have my own life to live and cant be with her 24hrs a day.

Her psychiatrist says she must leave my stepdad and go on her own. I think he is wrong. My stepdad supports her and has been there for her through everything. But she lies to the doctors. And they all believe her. We have tried to talk to her doctors but according to them, we are wrong and everything she says is right!! How do we solve this?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-01-2010 at 12:51 PM. Reason: Please do not post multiple versions of the same question. Posts merged, thread moved.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-01-2010, 07:16 AM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 12
maichloe HB User
Re: Doctors!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by thelmavr View Post
My mom is bipolar. Her psychiatrist says she must leave my stepdad and go on her own. I think he is wrong. My stepdad supports her and has been there for her through everything. But she lies to the doctors. And they all believe her. We have tried to talk to her doctors but according to them, we are wrong and everything she says is right!! How do we solve this?
hi , i also have bipolar . I also lie to the docs and tell them what they want to hear , i think lying also comes with the condition . My husband has stuck with me through the really tough times , but as the sufferer i dont know how he feels . i think ur mum should stay with her family as good support is hard to find , not many can put up with what we give out .

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-01-2010, 12:10 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pensacola, FL
Posts: 146
AmVan HB User
Re: Doctors!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by maichloe View Post
hi , i also have bipolar . I also lie to the docs and tell them what they want to hear , i think lying also comes with the condition . My husband has stuck with me through the really tough times , but as the sufferer i dont know how he feels . i think ur mum should stay with her family as good support is hard to find , not many can put up with what we give out .

 
Old 02-01-2010, 12:25 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pensacola, FL
Posts: 146
AmVan HB User
Re: Doctors!!!!

I agree that not many can put up with us but I get so scared and I need people to help but they don't understand me because of the illness. Sometimes I can talk to people and enjoy them but for the most part, I'm afraid of them. Didn't mean to get off topic...I don't have a problem or need to tell lies but I know it's not easy on my husband. He's good to me. I definately think your mom sholuld stay put with her family, not ony for support but because she's loved! I've never heard of any doc telling a pientient to divorce, especially a pdoc. Maybe she should consider a new doc.

 
Old 02-01-2010, 12:29 PM   #5
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 78
Bethann01 HB User
Re: Doctors!!!!

Would she agree to go to marital therapy first? Or have her husband join her at her next pdoc appointment? From what you said, he sounds like the kind of guy who would be willing to do that.

 
Old 02-01-2010, 11:17 PM   #6
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Durban, South Africa
Posts: 18
thelmavr HB User
Re: Doctors!!!!

He definitely is the kind of guy that would go for counseling but according to my mom everything he does he does because he feels obligated to do so and not because he loves her. She suspects the worse from everyone around her and he has been with her to her doc but according to my mom HE lies and tells the doc stories about her. E.g. she has this thing she does, she gets up in the middle of the night and goes to the kitchen and eats everything she can get hold of. But she is so drugged with all the sleeping pills, she does not realise she is doing it. He gets up and cleans up after her and then helps her back to bed as she is sometimes unable to go back to the room. please note my mom is 1.5m tall and only weighs about 50kg. He is at his wits end...............

 
Old 03-14-2010, 12:17 AM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 4
sambamalam HB User
Re: My mom is bipolar.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thelmavr View Post
My mom is bipolar and we are struggling. She's had it now for 7 years. My sister died 5 years ago and it put her back 10 years. She is still grieving and believes nobody understands her. She is only 56yrs old, but she is permantly paranoid. She just wants to spend money the whole time, and she is flat broke already. She thinks we are all out to get her. I dont know how to handle her. Can someone please give me advise? Even my kids dont want to go and see their grandmother.

I do not know how to handle her. She thinks I am out to get her - paranoia.... She doesnt understand that I have my own life to live and cant be with her 24hrs a day.

Her psychiatrist says she must leave my stepdad and go on her own. I think he is wrong. My stepdad supports her and has been there for her through everything. But she lies to the doctors. And they all believe her. We have tried to talk to her doctors but according to them, we are wrong and everything she says is right!! How do we solve this?

 
Old 03-14-2010, 12:56 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,369
AnnD HB UserAnnD HB User
Re: My mom is bipolar.

It is time for tough love for your mom/grandma. Tell her that you and the kids can not come to see her until she tells her therapist the truth and until she is taking all her medicines and is stable on her medications can you visit with her. There is no reason to expose yourself or the kids to her. Bipolars often prefer to be on a high and don't take their meds but they don't have enough sense to realize they have gone from feeling high to over the top to multiple sexual encounters and or overspending ...everything they do is exaggerated and dramatic. Apparently she has her therapist fooled and needs someone better at detecting Bipolars...but that isn't your problem. The only thing you can do is nothing but to stay away and don't take calls from her it would not be productive. Check in with her every 6 months or so to see if she is 'better'. Good luck!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
is it bipolar? punkrocker89 Bipolar Disorder 9 09-24-2007 10:55 PM
Am I bipolar? OCA917 Bipolar Disorder 4 09-12-2006 04:57 PM
bipolar/panic disorder e0a54 Bipolar Disorder 5 07-10-2006 03:02 PM
My Daughters Bipolar... joessy Bipolar Disorder 2 06-06-2006 09:13 PM
BiPolar Vs Borderline BorderChild Bipolar Disorder 5 04-20-2006 07:52 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:29 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!