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Old 02-13-2010, 07:09 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: denver, n.c. usa
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lilymi HB User
I'm all alone in this

In November the love of my life had a terrible car accident. He was basically crushed from the waist up by the car. The worst of it was the extensive brain injury he has. He was in comma for 11 days but came out of it. Now we are dealing with life after the accident. We found out in September that we were pregnant and were very happy about starting our own little family. When he woke from the comma not only did he not remember we were having a baby, he didn't remember me either. It broke my heart. In the last few months some memories are coming back to him. Bless his heart he has fallen in love with me for a second time. I can't even imagine what he's going threw. His friend that was in the car with him will never walk again and he feels very guilty about that. He was a very hard worker. If not at work he was working on his farm. He has nothing left in his life really but me. I try to be everything for him but its not enough. I miss him dearly. I'm going threw this all alone. Trying to prepare for the baby by myself. This is not the way it should be. How can I help him to experience a little joy in life. Joy for our love, joy for life, joy for new family? How can I help him to love life again?

 
Old 02-21-2010, 07:48 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 968
goldyfm HB Usergoldyfm HB Usergoldyfm HB User
Re: I'm all alone in this

Lily, Two weeks into my marriage, my husband suffered a carotid artery aneurysm that required emergency micro-nuerosurgery to repair. Even though he recovered successfully from the effects of the aneurysm, he was left with residual epilepsy. I know that each episode would leave him with some amnesia. I was pregnant at the onset of those seizures, and like you was unknown to him. It would take hours for him to realize what was happening and to come around to reality. Also, he suffered from terrible headaches from that time forward and was frail and afraid of having the same thing happen once more. I know this is a small resemblance to what you have witnessed with your own husband, but the impact of not knowing what was coming at me from one minute to another was very similar. I know my husband was never the same after that health scare and it's complications. I even had "good intentioned" friends and relatives say they would not blame me if I walked away from the marriage. That was a harsh reality to how the situation was viewed by an outsider. I know in my heart that I could never have done so in a million years as I loved the person that he was and I know with time, you two can overcome the obstacles and make a meaningful life for your family. Family comes with all kind of obstacles, even in the face of good health. I know faith in each other and faith that you can find the strength to conquer all obstacles is all one can ask for in a situation like this. Together, we raised our family and even though it was difficult at times, I would not trade any moment of that time for all the money in the world. Our time together was priceless. Life doesn't hand out guarantees. I do hope that helps ease your mind.

 
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Old 04-03-2010, 02:18 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Island Co.
Posts: 170
Blog Entries: 3
Janaly HB User
Re: I'm all alone in this

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilymi View Post
In November the love of my life had a terrible car accident. He was basically crushed from the waist up by the car. The worst of it was the extensive brain injury he has. He was in comma for 11 days but came out of it. Now we are dealing with life after the accident. We found out in September that we were pregnant and were very happy about starting our own little family. When he woke from the comma not only did he not remember we were having a baby, he didn't remember me either. It broke my heart. In the last few months some memories are coming back to him. Bless his heart he has fallen in love with me for a second time. I can't even imagine what he's going threw. His friend that was in the car with him will never walk again and he feels very guilty about that. He was a very hard worker. If not at work he was working on his farm. He has nothing left in his life really bue. I try to be everything for him but its not enough. I miss him dearly. I'm going threw this all alone. Trying to prepare for the baby by myself. This is not the way it should be. How can I help him to experience a little joy in life. Joy for our love, joy for life, joy for new family? How can I help him to love life again?
Lilymi,

All that you and your husband are going through and have already
went through is so so so tough. I can see you love him dearly and
are completely committed. You are both blessed to have each other
in spite of your immense circumstances. Stories like yours are still
an encouragement to us readers because of your genuiness and
press on attitude and the love in your heart that is so easy for us
readers to see also. At least it is for me.

A wide range of feelings to deal with daily in your heart and your desire
to do all that you can do to share in your husbands contentment and
joy. You are remarkable!

I will be back to chat more again,

Warmly,

Janaly
__________________
Intercystial Cystitis
Cervical Neuralgia
Insomnia challenges
Allergic to Shellfish
*all are being treated*
but not with perfect success.

Last edited by Janaly; 04-03-2010 at 02:21 PM.

 
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