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Old 04-21-2010, 10:44 PM   #1
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I don't know how to cope anymore

My boyfriend is in agony. He had 4 back operations and a hip replacement over the last 4 years and they all went wrong. He is being worked up for a metabolic disease. We spent 2 weeks at the Cleveland clinic last month and are still waiting for some test results. He suffers in pain every single day and is extremely weak and is spending more time in bed than ever which caused him a PE in January. He has a bunch of other health problems. He is only 48. He is on disability and I have to work (he has my insurance too). Unfortunately we have very little support system since we have very little family and none of our friends ever are around to help so it all rests on my shoulders to take care of him and find him help and its getting harder to cope. He doesn't need a visiting nurse. He needs the right medical care and a diagnosis but that hasn't happened yet. I used up most of my vacation/sick time for the year already and don't want to lose my job which is stressful enough. My problem is I don't know what to do next for him and he does NOT cope well at all. When you have no support system which is very important how do you cope? I haven't found a caregiver group in my area that focuses on helping loved ones that aren't terminal but have chronic pain. I need to get to sleep now and he is up in utter agony...since the pain meds don't help much anymore. I know I;m rambling but I really need some advice here..please. Thanks.

 
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:50 PM   #2
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Re: I don't know how to cope anymore

I was really looking forward to some replies since I had such a horrible day. Life really stinks right now.

 
Old 04-22-2010, 07:50 PM   #3
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Re: I don't know how to cope anymore

I would look in the newspaper for some hired help. Not having a support system will add to the stress so it sounds like you will need to hire the help. You need a break or you will end up sick.

 
Old 04-23-2010, 09:39 AM   #4
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Re: I don't know how to cope anymore

Another thing I noticed about your post--you said you had "little" family--does that mean you have family but they will not help? Have you asked them? I wish there was something I could offer to you but I hope that you can get some help even if you have to pay for it. You need a break! Hugs your way!
Does his insurance help with non-medical homecare?

 
Old 04-23-2010, 12:03 PM   #5
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Re: I don't know how to cope anymore

If he is on disability, have you checked with them to see what kind of support they can offer? Or have you checked with the county social services? Is your BF seeing a pain management doc for the pain? Do you belong to a church? Often the ministers can help steer you to the right person or agency for help...

 
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