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Old 01-12-2011, 02:05 AM   #1
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How do you decide cancer treatment for parent?

I'm 60 and my mother is 86 with endometrial cancer. She has too many heart isssues to be a hysterectomy patient. Has anyone ever had this situation where You have to decide what to do when there aren't many options and you don't know what the other choices would do to their parent's health and comfort? This is awful and I'm the only one around to help.The doctor just throws information at us and you really don't know what to do.They aren't very helpful.

 
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Old 01-14-2011, 11:08 AM   #2
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Re: How do you decide cancer treatment for parent?

I am sorry you are in this situation, my prayers are with you both.

My big thought would be quality of life, how sick is treatment going to make her? A lot of times it's the treatment that kills first, by the time people stop the tx they are miserable.

With the doc. As soon as you are getting confused, or don't get it, stop him. Doc's don't realize that people get overwhelmed with the situation & the doctor speak and just keep nodding even when they don't get it.

If you are at the hospital ask for a patient rep to help explain things to you. At the office pin down the nurse to get info. Don't leave till you are sure you are understanding what is going on.

Doc's may seem busy, & rushed but they DO want you to understand your options- don't be afraid to stop them.

Hugs,

Pup

 
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:20 PM   #3
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Re: How do you decide cancer treatment for parent?

Quote:
Originally Posted by leighrealm View Post
I'm 60 and my mother is 86 with endometrial cancer. She has too many heart isssues to be a hysterectomy patient. Has anyone ever had this situation where You have to decide what to do when there aren't many options and you don't know what the other choices would do to their parent's health and comfort? This is awful and I'm the only one around to help.The doctor just throws information at us and you really don't know what to do.They aren't very helpful.
Before you go to the doctor with your mom on her next office visit write down questions to ask the doctor. If your mom is capable to do so have her help you with questions she wants to be answered as well . Do you know what your mom's wishes are for her treatments and what her wishes are for end of life care? Does she have a health care proxy,Living will or trust stating what she wants and doesn't want done in treating her disease process?( Durable Power Of Attorney for health care decisions) If this hasn't been done already then you need her to do this in writing before she becomes too sick to make those decisions for herself. American Cancer society has a Buddy Program of volunteers to become your buddy that has same kind of cancer you do and has been through the treatments and has recovered or is in remission. Sometimes it's helpful to talk to someone who has been treated for the same kind of cancer you have.

 
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:33 PM   #4
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Re: How do you decide cancer treatment for parent?

I had uterus cancer sarcoma before in 2000 and I did the surgery and chemo. Well I am only in the 50s. I am cured in 2001.

The problem now is your Mom's old age. Certainly if she wants to be treated, she can try to ask for more info. about the success rate for her to have the surgery. Also it depends on the cancer - is it stage 1 or 2, or is it very late? It matters. She may need chemo or radiation after the surgery. The typical story for a cancer patient...

The first thing is you should ask if your Mom wishes to be treated or wants to leave it alone and this means hospice or death later on... The heart issues are up to the doctor to decide if she can have operation or not.

I have a friend whose Mom was in the 80s and had uterus cacner. The doctor gave her a choice - he asked her if she wanted to treat it. She said yes. So she had all the treatments. She is fine - she is 100 now.

It depends on the person. Did the doctor tell her she cannot have operation? What is the prognosis? Sometimes the elderly may decide to let go and go with the nature's course. This means hospice in the end.

It is a hard decision. I am sorry your Mom and you/your family have to go through this.

Take care,
Nina

 
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