Worried my Dad is over medicating Mom
My Father takes care of my Mother. They’re both 75. She is in a wheelchair; she has balance problems from brain radiation, and broke her foot and ankle in 3 places five years ago. She also has a bit of dementia.
We think Dad is giving her too much medication and medication she doesn’t need or shouldn’t have.
Several years ago she got very bad, angry and hallucinating. She would yell at Dad a lot, and believed things were happening that weren’t, like my sister-in-law having an affair and bringing her supposed boyfriend around. This and others are recurring themes when she gets that way.
At the time she was on a great deal of meds, and the doctors took her off several and things got markedly better. But she still has some problems.
Anyway, in the past year, Dad has spent several blocks of time in the hospital, and Mom has been in a nursing home. She has been much clearer. They also sent her to a geriatric unit to evaluate her and get her meds straight. So her hallucinations / dementia has been much better, she’s been very coherent.
10 days ago Dad took Mom back home, and now she’s back to hallucinating and/or being in a stupor. We think that he gives her to meds to make her easier to deal with. One thing he gives her is hydrocodone, which she has an allergy to, it makes her itch; so then he gives her Benadryl for that. I think he also gives her Ativan (Lorazepam) all the time, instead of when she really needs it.
We’ve tried to get them to move to assisted living, but Dad won’t hear of it.
None of us has any legal standing, power of atty, guardianship, etc. Any advice on what we should do?