I think there is some service out there. You can get home health care nurse to come home to bathe your Dad. The person can lift him and etc. Also, for the bathtub, you need to get a bath bench so your Dad can sit on it and you can wash him easily. It is better with the bench that hangs from the tub's side.
Your husband should not lift him up like that. First thing is to get the home care service so someone can come to wash him. As an elderly, your Dad does not have to take a shower or bath everyday. twice a week is enough given the ordeal.
Also you can consider sponge bath. A good one is good enough. The professional can show you how to do that.
For nursing home, you may want to ask some professional or friends to talk to him about it positively. In the mean time, you can hire home health nurse or home care CNA to help out. Most caregivers have CNA - nursing assistant certificate.
Hope this helps,
Last edited by ninamarc; 04-03-2011 at 11:54 AM.