This is going to be kind of long but i really just need to vent. I'm a 23 old undergrad university student. I've been looking after my grandmother (64) for the past 5 years now since i was 18. She got sick in 2006 had two heart attacks and a stroke. She spent two months in the hostpital, juring that time i was still in highschool about to graduate (which i did).
My grandmother has been the glue that held my family together, she such a strong women worked very hard all her live , gave everything she could to her 4 children ( 2 girls,2 boys). And even took care of me since i was 6 months old because my dad didnt want me and my mom couldn't really care for me and even to this day doesn't even care about me. So once i graduated highschool my uncle told me i need to get a job to help since my grandma is sick and is unable to work anymore. Which was fine at the time since i was young and naive and really looked up to my uncle. Anyways a year later her kidneys started to fail and had to be put on dailysis 3 times a week She was very week and unale to walk far and had to use a wheelchair. I would drive her to the clinic and then my uncle would pick her but complained everytime he did, how it cost to much gas and that he had better things to do with hes time
After a year it was really getting hard for her to get out of my small car since it was low. So i ask my other uncle if he could drive her and which he did for about 4 months then both my uncles said they couldn't do it anymore because it cost to much money and time. Whats 30 mins out of ur day???? So i got handi transit for her which she hates but thats the only other option i had since its to hard for her to get in my car and she has a power wheelchair now. Anyways in 2009 i got layoff and starting goin to school full time.
I'm the one who takes her to all her doctors appointments sometimes there are very early in the morning. I'm the one who is waken up at 2 am because she can't breath or has soil her self and needs to be cleaned up. I do all of her personal care since she has limited mobility and is unable to dress her self.I do get homecare but they are a joke! I change her bandages i cook...clean...do laundry... pay the bills i give her insulin injections since she is diabetic...i do everything and anything and with out complain because i love my grandma she all i got.
Her children don't really do much i know they are older and have family's of there own but they can a least come by once in awhile a give a hand they only about 15min drive away. My unlce who has two degrees ( B.Sc and BN) all he cares about is money. My grandma has to beg him just to help with fixing something in the house because we just can't afford it since my only income right now is student loan. And we don;t ask him all the time only if it something major like the hotwater tank going out. Just the other day he spend 8,000 of my grandmas line of credit without even asking her since he has POA and said he says its "our" money and he had bills to pay?? and she can keep paying it but he has a big time Nursing job! Her 2 daughters (my so call mother and aunt) both live on welfare and don't want to help.
I'm taking th summer off from school because my grades are slipping due to all the stress and my aunt was stayin with us for about 4 months because she was ill. it was hell having her there she doesn't clean ..makes a mess and she is a very selfish person. i told my grandma never again! I'm so stress out and depressed. I've been having chest pain but i got an x-ray,,EKG butnothin is wrong with my heart just stress. Also my anxiety has gone from a 3 to about 10...i get panic attacks alot too. I don't know why her children are like the way they are she has help them there whole life untill she got sick and now for them to help its a huge problem. Its as if they are mad at her for getting sick?? I dread the day when she moves on , i can see them trying to get there hands on all her stuff. They already make small jokes like can i have this when u pass?? are u serious??
my grandma has lots more years left to live! ...I usually don't complain but i just can't take it anymore and i have no one to talk to and my bf doesn't understand. I'm really anice person and always willing to help even my cousins when then need a ride somewhere but lately i'm just felt anger towards my family and don't even wont to talk to them. Sorry for it being long i just need an outlet thanks for reading.