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Old 08-12-2011, 03:57 AM   #1
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Unsatisfactory Carer Advice Needed

I have a major problem with the care provided for my mother on a weekly basis, and am at my wits end.

Due to various problems my 72 year old mother now requires daily care. She is very frail (now under 4' tall and under 5 st in weight).

On just one day a week a carer is provided by the NHS to wash her and generally be there for her so I can do other things for a day.

The problem I have is with the attitude of the female carer.
She is absolutely huge, not fat, just very big.

She is definetly over 6'4" (my husbands height) and strongly built, and she for want of a better word "man handles" my mother.

She just picks my mother up and takes her to the bathroom and carries her either under her arm or. just picks her up and throws her over her shoulder.

My mother is frankly terrified of this girl, and although I have asked the carer to be more gentle and less intimidating, she just dismisses it.

The big complication is that the girl is of African descent and I don't want to appear racist.

Has anyone else had cause to take issue with the NHS Trust over something like this please, and if so what response did you get?

Thanks,

Laura

 
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Old 08-19-2011, 02:54 PM   #2
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Re: Unsatisfactory Carer Advice Needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauracollins View Post
I have a major problem with the care provided for my mother on a weekly basis, and am at my wits end.

Due to various problems my 72 year old mother now requires daily care. She is very frail (now under 4' tall and under 5 st in weight).

On just one day a week a carer is provided by the NHS to wash her and generally be there for her so I can do other things for a day.

The problem I have is with the attitude of the female carer.
She is absolutely huge, not fat, just very big.

She is definetly over 6'4" (my husbands height) and strongly built, and she for want of a better word "man handles" my mother.

She just picks my mother up and takes her to the bathroom and carries her either under her arm or. just picks her up and throws her over her shoulder.

My mother is frankly terrified of this girl, and although I have asked the carer to be more gentle and less intimidating, she just dismisses it.

The big complication is that the girl is of African descent and I don't want to appear racist.

Has anyone else had cause to take issue with the NHS Trust over something like this please, and if so what response did you get?

Thanks,

Laura
Laura,

This is abuse. How can she throw an elder like that? She could injure her. Fire her through the agency. If she is not from your own hire, then let the co. handle it. Don't worry about the race. She did wrong. It is abuse no matter what color she is.
For your Mom's sake, fire her.

We did have an experience with an abusive black caregiver. She is successful in her career now but she was looking for extra income as a caregiver/CNA and she is a nurse also (she has multiple skills.) The trick is she was impatient with my FIL. We didn't fire her ourselves. The agency asked us to help firing her. She dictates things for him and forced us to hire a hairdresser to cut his hair. It is like she tried to force him around. Although my FIL is a tall guy, she was trying to force the things on him - not physically, but emotionally. She quit as soon as she knows the agency didn't like her.
My FIL had a better and nicer caregiver until he moved to the NH last summer.
We also fired another young black caregiver.

The key is to file for abuse. No one can abuse the elderly. It is the rule. As long as you can document that she is abusive and your Mom is scared, then she has nothing to say and will leave you alone. (Not that she won't be mad at you...)

Please talk to the NHS (what is NHS?) Is she at home?

Good luck,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 08-19-2011 at 03:03 PM.

 
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