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Old 07-19-2012, 06:30 PM   #1
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Caregiver for 94 yr old Mom

I am new to this site. I attempted suicide 15 days ago by mixing alcohol & benzos. Luckily I did not suceed. I have been the sole caregiver for my Mom for the past 14 yrs, after her brain anuerysm. I have a twin sister living in New Mexico and a brother who lives in Minnesota...I live in Illinois. Needless to say I offered to move back from Florida to take care of Mom if she made it through her surgery 14 yrs ago...with the understanding that it would be mutally shared by all 3 siblings. Since that time...we have had absolutely no contact with my brother and my twin sister manages to visit 2 times a year .... basically to visit with her friends and take my Mom out a few times. I reached out numerous times for help and nobody would listen. I begged my sister to come and get Mom and take her home with her for at least a month to give me a break...she told me that would just kill her! My sister has been retired for 3 years and has a very comfortable life. I on the other hand have devoted my entire life to taking care of OUR Mother! She has a clamp in her head that stopped the anuerysm from leaking, high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, neuropathy, and recently diagnosed with alzheimers & epilepsy. She is home bound and uses a walker all the time. I called my sister the day of my attempt and begged her to help me out...as things were getting to be overwhelming for me...she told me that it must "sucks to be you"....and proceeded to tell me she was on her way to her swimming pool....that pushed me right over the edge.

 
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Old 07-19-2012, 06:41 PM   #2
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Re: Caregiver for 94 yr old Mom

Hope, taking care of aging parents is so hard, I have a mom that will be 96. She got really sick couple of yrs ago and I basically moved in for 3 months while trying to find a live in. Girl you gotta hire some help some how. Looks like they aren't going to do it. I got PTSD from it! only after 3 months! Is there anyway you can get some help?

WHat I did was looked online and did interviews, background checks and then once we were interested DRUG TESTING. That's important I had so many fail that. Even if you just get a few hours a day or something or weekend off. Also, I stayed there w/ the new person for the first several days until I knew mom was comfrtable and I was too. SOmetimes we weren't. So far with this last one its working out. good luck. ((((HUGS)))) CJ

 
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:39 PM   #3
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Re: Caregiver for 94 yr old Mom

It is so hard. Please know that you are not alone.
You can also check the board Alzheimer's and dementia here. There are many members who take care of demented family members.
Take care,
Nina

 
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