In Need of Help
My mother has severe depression and anxiety. I have lived at home for most of my life. I even attended college locally and lived at home. I am 23 now and moved out of my house a month and a half ago to attend graduate school a few hours away from my hometown. My mother has not been coping very well with the change.
She has basically stopped talking to me about two weeks ago. She will not talk on the phone with me, and she will only text me back one or two word answers. My brothers' say that any time my name is brought up that she will cry and say she can't have me gone. The times I do go home to visit, she guilt trips me all weekend saying that I'm killing her by not being home. The day that I leave, she gets downright mean. She would say some very hurtful things to me such as, "I hate you," "if I get put in the hospital because you left, I don't want you to see me," "you're a selfish brat," "I never want to see you again," "I hope you flunk out of school so you'll have to come home," "I hope you break up with your boyfriend," etc. Several times, she has apologized saying that I have just hurt her and that's how to acts when people hurt her. I used to be best friends with my mom - we did everything together. Now, I feel so pushed away and beyond belief guilty. It hurts so bad that I don't even know what to do.
When I moved away, I moved in with my long-term boyfriend. He proposed to me. All my brother's told me not to tell my mother about it because she was just get even more upset and conclude that I will never be coming home. My fiance doesn't understand depression or anxiety. He constantly tells me to cut her out of my life, that depression isn't an excuse to treat me the way she does. I don't know that I can do that. She's my mother. I know how how her depression is.
I just don't know what to do. Has anyone gone through something similar? I could really use some support. I'm at my ropes end.