It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Caregivers Message Board
Post New Thread   Reply Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-18-2012, 06:56 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 1
Missn HB User
Support

Hi...I have been helping to take care of my elderly parent, 83 with physical problems for the past couple months and this has gone on for the last two years. I try but sometimes the situation is very unkind. Sometimes I think the problem is that it is because I am trying so am not really meant to be here at all even though things are a mess (in her life.) I resent the fact that she dumps all her personal problems on me and probably what I have to do is say that...because it is not right, especially when I am not taking care of myself. Tonight i was thinking it is I am helping because she is a parent but there is no "love of God" in me...many times I think she is just in this mess because of her own behavior. No one likes a martyr, including the martyr herself. So, as I think about things tonight, I think this is not love, it is obligation...I can't change anyone, but I can change myself. I keep trying to look at things spiritually and often here, I self destruct because of doing things out of obligation and not saying how I feel...I think I understand some of the issues here but it would be nice to have others to talk to.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2013, 09:08 AM   #2
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1
SaritaEnFlorida HB User
Re: Support

Sounds like your parent has dementia. Dementia plays havoc with people's personalities and emotions, and often makes them unpleasant and difficult to help.

I'm a caregiver for both my parents, and caregiving is draining. At times it feels the life is being sucked out of me. Another problem (huge) is that the caregiving generally falls on the lap of only one person, at least it does here in the U.S. Caregiving is easier when many family members are involved, when the person needing help lives in a large home with many other family members, and so on. That's usually not possible in the U.S. where the culture is not one of family members staying in the same town or city, but, rather, moving far away from family.

Try to get some help from friends or govt programs. That helps a little bit. Doesn't improve things fully, but that's the way it is here. Also, get counseling for yourself, and exercise. Both of these helped me with the huge burden I have.

 
Reply With Quote
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Reply Reply

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Caregivers support group normtippy Caregivers 4 10-28-2010 08:22 PM
back and need support! monkey5 Caregivers 18 02-17-2009 04:32 AM
Mental health/sister/need support monkey5 Caregivers 4 08-05-2008 05:15 PM
How do I support a family member who is on self destruct? Jentwentyone Caregivers 2 05-05-2008 03:33 PM
new here and hope to get some support telly2 Caregivers 5 02-25-2008 03:54 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (5), ibake&pray (3), Seraph (2), Sandy Caregiver (2), Titchou (2), Basswife (1), cryingforever (1), flipfleury (1), Lish63 (1), mesilla (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (904), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), midwest1 (668), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:26 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!